Dear Prudence,
I recently found a job I’m very interested in advertised through word of mouth. About a year ago, I graduated with my Ph.D. and am struggling to find a full-time job outside of academia. I’ve spoken with the recruiter, and I want to move forward, but I realized the job is currently held by my friend “Beth.” We were best friends in college but slowly drifted apart. Over the past few years, she’s been extremely unsupportive during a lot of major difficulties I’ve had (deaths in the family, strain from thinking my adviser was trying to push me out of my graduate program, and a financial situation that has me looking into filing bankruptcy). I’m a fairly cheery person, but the few times I’ve gone to her for help, she has changed the subject after just a few minutes, and even sometimes argued with me about why I was having the problem.
She never seems to be happy for me when good things happen. I’ve stopped seeing her as anything more than an acquaintance. I feel a little bad about taking the job, but I know they want someone with a Ph.D. (which Beth doesn’t have), and the fact that they are advertising means they aren’t happy with her work. Even though I didn’t try to underhandedly take her job, I realize I may lose her as a friend. I’m actually kind of OK with that, which makes me feel bad. Is it worth pursuing this job? Or am I being a terrible person?
—Swooping In?