Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

Trying to figure out if I should worry.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I recently started dating someone very caring and intelligent. We’re both guys in our late 20s and have been together for about two months. I know he ended a long-term relationship shortly before we got together. He was very upfront about this, and I know his ex is part of his larger social circle. He told me that he’d like to be friends with his ex but had asked for a break from communication in order to focus on his relationship with me for a while. His ex asked him for an exact date when they could resume communication, clearly not understanding that it’s not possible to put a time frame on these things.

Recently, I have seen his ex’s name pop up on his phone. I haven’t been snooping—I’ve just noticed occasionally while he is showing me something unrelated. Seeing this makes me insecure. It’s intimidating to know that he is communicating with someone he had such a long, recent relationship with, and it makes me worry. Besides this issue, I am really enjoying our relationship, and while it is new, I feel that it is strong. I want to talk to my boyfriend about how this makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don’t want to come off as controlling or overbearing. Should I just let it go? Should I bring it up?

—Jealous of His Ex

Report Reply to Post

Re: Trying to figure out if I should worry.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think the perfect way to open that up is @banana468 style

    Report Reply
  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yup, just ask about it casually. “How are things going” or “Is that X, hows that”? And see what he says. I think it’s reasonable to be curious/wondering what the deal is but I don’t think it’s okay to make a big thing out of it. 
    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If I were the LW's SO, I'd want to be a smart-ass with the ex, on the question of "the exact date" can we begin communicating again.  Like, "On Jan. 27th at 1:43PM.  But not a minute before!"

    I can understand the LW's insecurity and it is worth a casual mention.  But, to be fair to the b/f, that person has always been clear that at some point they were going to resume a friendship with the ex.  That person should have mentioned they have felt ready and resumed the friendship.  But, other than that, it's probably nothing to worry about.  Or maybe the ex's name is popping up because the b/f keeps rebuffing the attempts at communication, but doesn't feel right ignoring them either.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards