Pre-wedding Parties

Different bridal shower idea??

So my SO and I are both 32. We’re basically completely established and need nothing. In fact the joke is that if everyone we invited to the wedding took something away from our house they’d be doing us a favor haha!

my mom is still insistent on a bridal shower, she’s super excited about the wedding (we all are).

Would it be tacky to have a DIY bridal shower... like everyone comes and we play games or whatever but also we spend an hour crafting my center pieces and bouquets. Everyone could put their name on the bottom of their centerpiece and take it home after the wedding and then instead of gifts were asking for their time. Like a pallets and paints.

is there a way to word that on the invite that doesn’t sound tacky? Would you enjoy that as someone who was invited to it?

Re: Different bridal shower idea??

  • Instead of a shower, have a Bridal Luncheon...  

    You may be set, but this is your time to "upgrade" for example, a nicer set of silverware or additional pieces that match your set (Register for the cake knife, cake/pie servers that match your current silverware that you'll be able to use long after the wedding!).  If there are any renovation projects, many home improvement stores offer registries.  Amazon on their registry I think offers a "contribute" for larger ticket items option.  Register for bath towels, that's something that even if you don't use right away you'll be able to switch out over time.  A registry doesn't need to be big, but it is nice in the respect that you won't get a lot of random stuff you do not need in colors that aren't your favorites because there are many of us who abhor giving cash or gift cards.  

    Please DO NOT ask your guests to do your DIY work!!  It puts people who have more craft ability than Martha Stewart up against those who are lucky to tie their own shoelaces into a bow and NEVER turns out as pretty as you want them to because people don't have your vision of what you want, nor are they professionals at pulling off that look, and you, the bride, who has a vision of how these things should turn out that the Martha wanna-be will also not want anything to do with such an idea.  Also, lovely as your centerpieces may be, my guess is people would appreciate you selling them as a set on Marketplace after the wedding much more than taking a random centerpiece home with them which probably won't match their home's decor.    
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2
    Have a Bridal Luncheon...

    Next, this is your time to do upgrades even though you're "set".  Some ideas - upgrade your silverware set and register for your cake knife and cake/pie server that match your silverware that you'll be able to use when you have guests over long after the wedding or just for dessert!  Register for things like nicer bath towels in your colors.  Register for things like a ladder if you don't already have one.  Amazon I believe offers a "contribute" option for bigger ticket items.  It's not that you'd need to register for a lot, but it's to help you avoid things like getting a lot of random stuff that you don't need/want because there are many who abhor giving cash or gift cards as gifts because it puts them into a socially awkward situation in their own minds.  

    Please DO NOT ask your guests to do your DIY projects!  What ends up happening is the Martha Stewart Wanna-be gets paired with the person who is lucky if they could tie their shoelace into a bow.  The items NEVER turn out how you want them to simply because people do not have your bridal vision and the Martha Wanna-be thinks your idea is rubbish and has something better in mind, and, it's not their job to do your work you've chosen to do instead of hiring a professional to do it right once and on tight budget.  As for sending them home after the wedding, most guests would probably rather you sell them as a group on Marketplace than be tasked with taking a random centerpiece home that may or may not go with their home's decor.  
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes, that is a tacky idea. Your guests are not free labor. 

    You can decline the shower. I was 34 when I got married, and I also didn't need anything. I skipped a shower, and turned down my MIL's offer. 

    You could also just have a bridal luncheon. 

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would just do a bridal luncheon in place of a shower. Your mom can spread the word that there is no registry and you're requesting no gifts.

    If you wanted to do a craft at the shower, I would tend toward a craft that is meant to be kept by the guests. For example, you could do one of those canvas painting deals, but everyone would keep their own canvas. I would much rather do some sort of craft (that no one ever has to see if it turns out badly) than play most shower games. 
  • I think if you’re looking for alternate options a luncheon or tea would be a better option. I would stay away from having your guests make the centerpieces; what if they turn out badly? What if people take them home from the shower? 

    I’m not a crafty person and would hate to be responsible for someone’s wedding decor. Also, showers are meant to honor & celebrate the person getting married, I’d certainly be put off if I was going to a party for that and then being asked to do work for them. 
  • I would flee in horror if asked to make a centerpiece for something as important as a wedding. It would turn out hideous. I vote for the luncheon.
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