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Classic Prudie: Daaaammnnnn girl.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes

Q. Death Around the Holidays: A man I work with and with whom I’ve had an affair the last two months died suddenly over the weekend. I am pregnant with his child. He didn’t know. His current wife, now widow, doesn’t either. How do I broach this subject? His estate is rather large.

A: I’d say I’m sorry for your loss, but since apparently you aren’t, I won’t bother. For your financial interests, contact a lawyer specializing in family law. I don’t have any advice on where you go to get help for your lack of morals—or heart.

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Re: Classic Prudie: Daaaammnnnn girl.

  • banana468banana468 member
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    Where's a Joey Lawrence "whoa" when you need one? 

    So is LW hoping for a cash payout from the estate.   "Hey, I'm terribly sorry that your husband died so suddenly.   This is probably a bad time to bring it up but I'm pregnant with his kid so you died knowing that we shared his penis.   How about some cash for the baby?"  

    Don't be surprised if THEY get a lawyer too.   

    The deceased committed a huge betrayal of trust and the LW is a willing participant.   While she's finding a lawyer maybe she can look into some counseling so she can look into making better decisions and seeking some morality. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
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    So you chose to sleep with someone who was married, got pregnant, and now want to approach his already grieving widow with this news for a big payout? Go to hell. 

    I feel sorry for that baby.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    I think I remember that original question!  I used to read Prudie regularly for years!  Now I just wait for Thursday because its much more fun to answer them ourselves!

    LW just needs to contact an attorney and let them handle it.  It will go much more smoothly, though I feel absolutely terrible that the widow is discovering her Hs infidelity at this already terrible time.  It also seems like the guy has barely been in the grave and LW is already looking for that cash.  
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Side question, if LW did go to the estate wouldn't they want a DNA test to prove LW's child is legit the deceased?
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MissKittyDanger said:
    Side question, if LW did go to the estate wouldn't they want a DNA test to prove LW's child is legit the deceased?
    I know I would force it.  I'm no attorney but I am guessing is that the LW has no legal claim to challenge a will and they'd absolutely be challenged in court. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    banana468 said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    Side question, if LW did go to the estate wouldn't they want a DNA test to prove LW's child is legit the deceased?
    I know I would force it.  I'm no attorney but I am guessing is that the LW has no legal claim to challenge a will and they'd absolutely be challenged in court. 
    LW doesn't, but the child does. LW would be acting as guardian for the child. Legally, it's pretty much impossible to completely exclude a minor child from your estate, even if they're "illegitimate". 

    This was part of Anna Nicole Smith's whole thing. She could be cut out, but not the kid. (I think the kid turned out to not be her husband's, I can't remember.) Maybe Strom Thurmand also had one of these? 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    banana468 said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    Side question, if LW did go to the estate wouldn't they want a DNA test to prove LW's child is legit the deceased?
    I know I would force it.  I'm no attorney but I am guessing is that the LW has no legal claim to challenge a will and they'd absolutely be challenged in court. 
    LW doesn't, but the child does. LW would be acting as guardian for the child. Legally, it's pretty much impossible to completely exclude a minor child from your estate, even if they're "illegitimate". 

    This was part of Anna Nicole Smith's whole thing. She could be cut out, but not the kid. (I think the kid turned out to not be her husband's, I can't remember.) Maybe Strom Thurmand also had one of these? 
    Right.  I should have continued that the LW wouldn't have the legal claim she would need to fight as the guardian of the kid.

    And wouldn't most estates require that the proof that the child is biologically related to the deceased?  That was really my point.  If my dad passed and someone came forward as a long lost sibling of mine I can't imagine his estate not forcing that the person take a DNA test to prove the relationship and any possible claim to an inheritance.


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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    If they contest it, yeah. I worked on one sort of like this when I was in legal, but the child had been acknowledged by the deceased, so no one contested the paternity. 

    All of this reminds me how glad I am to be away from legal work. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    As sad and distasteful as it is to pile more grief and devastating news on a family.  And despite the LW definitely having a gross and unsavory tone to their letter.  Absolutely, they need to get to a lawyer pronto and get this ball rolling.

    The child is entitled to some support by it's biological father.  And if that father is now deceased, that responsibility falls on his estate.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    LW could wait until the baby is actually born to bring this up, it doesn’t have to be said this very minute. 

    Unpopular opinion, but I think if someone is a part of making a baby they have a responsibility to help ensure that child’s financial future for basic things. Obviously there are exceptions. Maybe this is one of those. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    LW could wait until the baby is actually born to bring this up, it doesn’t have to be said this very minute. 

    Unpopular opinion, but I think if someone is a part of making a baby they have a responsibility to help ensure that child’s financial future for basic things. Obviously there are exceptions. Maybe this is one of those. 
    Also, LW has engaged in an affair that has lasted two months, the partner is deceased and is now already pregnant.   That's some pretty fucking early conceiving (pun intended).   Both parents are responsible for the financial upbringing of the child and in this case that's going to be the estate of the deceased.  But maybe the LW can wait until oh...the SECOND TRIMESTER to start in on what the next steps are? 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    short+sassy said:
    As sad and distasteful as it is to pile more grief and devastating news on a family.  And despite the LW definitely having a gross and unsavory tone to their letter.  Absolutely, they need to get to a lawyer pronto and get this ball rolling.

    The child is entitled to some support by it's biological father.  And if that father is now deceased, that responsibility falls on his estate.
    This.  Also, while he's dead...he is the one that cheated and it created this child. The child cannot help the circumstances of their creation.  It was his duty to uphold his fidelity in his marriage.  Cheating is messy and usually doesn't go according to plan from what I've seen in my life.  I have a lot of questions for LW on the circumstances of all of this, but LW wasn't married to this guy's wife. 

    LW's best move will be to lawyer up first.  The last thing they should do is approach the wife on their own.  If the estate is that large, there should be a lawyer managing it and the lawyers need to do the lawyer thing under the circumstances. 
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