I have been estranged from one side of my family since I was 8 years old. I want to invite them to my wedding because they're still technically family, but I have an issue. My SO's family welcomed me with complete open arms and became the family I never had. I'm close to ALL of his cousins and their children (there are like 30 kids). They are a big Catholic family and children have always been welcome at weddings--I want to continue this at my wedding! However, many say because I invite children from his family, I have to invite those from mine.
I am not close to my cousins in the first place--they never invited me to their weddings or family events. Whenever we sent out prior invites or announced special occasions (graduations, birthdays, etc), they were ignored. My mom and I have always had to go out of our way to get together with them (if they would even reply). The cost of adding the extra 20+ children to my guest list is over $3000 (rentals, food, etc), which either pushes us over budget or makes us sacrifice other budget priorities. My mom says I shouldn't invite the kids since we aren't close to them.
I've heard the rules of age limits to get around it, but I would be leaving out so many important people on his family's side (the 20 of the kids are under 10, and we can't make all of them ring bearers/flower girls). I'm at a loss. So many people say that they would be very insulted if they went to a wedding and this was the case. I don't want to insult people; but, at the same time, I barely know my cousins in the first place.