Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to avoid single friends thinking they can bring a +1

hello, we have many friends who are married or have been in a committed relationship for years, theyre both invited. What were worried about is our friends who have been SINGLE forever to think they can bring a plus 1. How can we word the RSVP?

Re: How to avoid single friends thinking they can bring a +1

  • hello, we have many friends who are married or have been in a committed relationship for years, theyre both invited. What were worried about is our friends who have been SINGLE forever to think they can bring a plus 1. How can we word the RSVP?
    If a friend is TRULY single and not in any relationship then the way you do this is to address the envelope to just the friend.   You could also make response cards specific and write them out to leave no option to fill in:

    Ms. Chanandeler Bong __accepts ___declines

    And this is in no way assuming that you believe this but every now and then someone comes on TK and comments about what defines a relationship and I'm therefore going to clarify: A valid relationship is one that exists and is not defined by time.   Therefore, PLEASE don't invite so close to a budget or head count that you would be hard pressed to afford and/or fit an additional person in case someone on your guest list becomes attached between now and your wedding.  

    We had several guests who were unattached when save the dates went out who were in very serious relationships by the time we were married.   So leave extra "space" out there just in case. 
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • For truly single guests (not in any sort of relationship), just address the invitation to them, and if you are using inner envelopes, make sure that only their name is on it without "and guest" or anything that suggests they are welcome to bring someone. You should not put anything on the invite or the RSVP card directly telling them they aren't allowed to bring someone.
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    ILoveBeachMusiccharlotte989875short+sassy
  • If they are truly single, address the invite to the person by name only. If they’re seeing someone, that person also needs to be invited regardless of how committed/long they’ve been together. 
    short+sassy
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If a guest is an unattached single, then address the invitation to them only and don't include "And Guest" or "+1." Of course, if that person is in a relationship, their partner must also be invited.

    There is always the risk of getting back a response to an invitation that includes an uninvited guest, in which case you will have to call the invited guest and explain that the invitation was for the invited guest only and no other persons can be accommodated.
    short+sassy
  • I'd reconsider this, if there's any way you can make it work in your budget. It is so much nicer to bring a plus one, especially if there is travel involved, or if the person doesn't know the other guests, so if this is at all possible, try to make room.

    But if you can't accommodate all the extras, make it clear on the website and/or response cards that the invitation is for the one person to whom it is addressed.
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