Dear Prudence,
My husband and I have two children under 4 years old. We live in a city where child care is difficult to find and expensive. Most of my salary goes toward day care. My in-laws live an hour away. They are both retired and refuse to help out—their grandchildren rank about fifth on their priorities behind their dogs, “volunteer” work, and weekly card games. Just having them pick up our son from preschool every day would be a lifesaver. Traffic is horrible and the school has a $20 fine for every 15 minutes you are late. I have begged my husband to get his parents on board, but the conversation was fruitless. He asked his father and got told while they would be available in an emergency, we need to “figure out” our own lives. We choose to live in the city instead of down the street and they aren’t going to drive every day. I find their selfishness appalling, and I find it hard now to make small talk about trivialities like their garden or their church charity. Is there anything I can do here? I have lost all drive to make sure my children interact with their grandparents. Why bother if they won’t? My husband says the situation will get better when the kids get older. I am just so tired.
—Indifferent In-Laws