Do people really follow invitation etiquette 100%? Am I really expected 5 invites to 1 household?

Re: Do people really follow invitation etiquette 100%? Am I really expected 5 invites to 1 household?

• banana468 member

  

  March 2020

  knottied1d9ded29cdc06ef said:

  Hey everyone
  
  This is my first post on this board as I need some advise on how to proceed with envelope addressing.
  
  My issue is that I have a bunch of adults (40+) who still live with their parents on my guest list and from what I've read, each adult in the household should get their own invitation. In one instance, there is a family (husband and wife) with 4 adult children still living at home. Am I really expected to send them 5 save the dates and 5 invitation suites? That just seems like overkill and a ridiculous use of resources/waste. 
  
  Has anyone else had this dilemma and if so, what did you do?
  
  Edited to add: IDK if this means anything, but single adults are not getting +1s (only married or engaged adults) and no minors are invited.

  1) Yes, if there are adult children living in the same home with their parents then they also get their own invitations.
  
  Also, this is going to be to your benefit.   Mail gets missed and mis-sorted.   By addressing invitations specifically to those you are inviting you have the mail most likely to be given to the intended recipients rather than getting it mixed.   
  
  2) If you have guests in a  relationship who are not married or engaged those partners also need to be invite.   A "plus one" is not a requirement but it is necessary for anyone identifying as in a relationship to be invited with their partner.    If in the above situations there are adult children living with their parents and they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend then you'll need to name the boyfriend or girlfriend on the invitation's inner envelope (or just the outer if you aren't doing inner envelopes).
  
  
  3) At this point if you're still months away and haven't sent STDs yet it's advised to factor that your single guests will be in relationships by the time your invitations are sent.   It ensures you have sufficient space and a budget to feed everyone rather than face a rough surprise as your wedding approaches. 
  
  
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  March 2020

  "Edited to add: IDK if this means anything, but single adults are not getting +1s (only married or engaged adults) and no minors are invited."

  You have posted on The Etiquette Board so whether solicited or not, your statements regarding etiquette faux pas will be addressed.
  

  You are well within your rights to not invite any children or minors.  However, if there is a "non-minor" that lives with younger siblings, it is rude to invite some of one family and not all of them.

  Single adults are adults that do not consider themselves in a relationship. Being engaged is not the definition of a relationship.  It is not up to you to determine the definition of someone else's relationship. It is beyond rude to invite half a social unit, particularly to an event celebrating the union of a relationship.
  

  
  
  

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• levioosa member

  

  March 2020

  Yes all adults get their own invitation. 
  

  
  

  You are incorrect about “single guests.” Anyone who considers themselves to be in a relationship needs to be invited with their significant other regardless of marriage status. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• flantastic member

  

  March 2020

  Others have addressed important points of etiquette, but if you're worried about waste - you don't have to send save the dates to every invited guest. Only those that you really, really want there. While it is incredibly rude to send a save the date and then not send an invitation, there is zero rudeness in not sending a save the date and then sending an invite.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2020

  Each person or social unit in the household (everyone over 18; couples together) needs his or her invitation. And it is helpful to plan for the possibility that each single adult will be part of a couple that needs to be invited together when the invitations go out.
  
  That said, I think you could put all the separate invitations in their own envelopes, and then put all of these envelopes in one large envelope for mailing and put the postage on that if they are all going to the same address.
  
  
  

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