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6 yo daughter bridesmaid?

jamielynntaylorjamielynntaylor member
in Moms and Maids
Hi all. I need advice please.
Im going to start by saying I don’t have close friends for a bridal party. FH does and wants 2-3 groomsmen. Symmetry in some way is super important to us. I have asked his sister to be a bridesmaid and I’m good with that but we’d like another but I literally don’t have any other friends. 

I have a 6 year old daughter that we initially assumed would be our flower girl. Now I’m wondering if it would make more sense to have her as a bridesmaid. She’s literally my everything and is the one helping me already- including helping me get in my dress! Lol. His niece(also 6) could be the flower girl.

We really like this idea. We’re good if daughter does something crazy standing there. But... would she wear a bridesmaid dress? Would she match the other bridesmaid or would it be okay to look different? Would the flower girl still wear white? Would it be weird for her to also throw flowers if I considered her a bridesmaid? The guy I see walking her is awesome, like an awesome uncle to her... he’d totally help her throw flowers. And if the niece is a flower girl, would nephew need to be included in some way too? What role could he have? Can an usher just welcome people(don’t want assigned seats or programs)?


gah. Sorry that’s a lot. Basically, any advice or ideas or how I can make this work? 

TIA
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Re: 6 yo daughter bridesmaid?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    While you claim that "symmetry" is important to you, overall it is not important, in the sense that the lack of it in a bridal party will not invalidate your wedding or photos.

    That said, you can have more than one flower girl and since both your daughter and his niece are the right age to be flower girls, I would include them both as flower girls.

    No, you do not need to give a "role" to every sibling in your families, but your nephew could be a ring bearer if he is that age. He can also be an usher if he is older. I agree that handing things out is unnecessary and not a good way to "include" someone in your wedding.

    But again, it is not necessary to come up with "roles" for every family member or friend who attends. Being a guest "includes" someone in and of itself.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Symmetry is not important. These are human beings, not props in a display. Saying you would include or exclude someone from your WP based on symmetry is as absurd as saying you'd exclude that person from Thanksgiving dinner because it created an odd number of people at the table. It's nonsensical and cruel. 

    If you're not close enough to anyone other than your FSIL to invite them to be a BM, then don't invite anyone. Don't invite your FSIL unless she is your closest friend. Your daughter would be fine as a BM, but I wouldn't do that unless you're otherwise skipping children's rolls. 

    FGs commonly wear the same color or softer shade of the BM dress color. That would be fine for your daughter regardless of whether she's a FG or BM. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You've gotten some good advice. I just wanted to touch on something. Is your 6 year old daughter the only person helping you get ready? You might need more assistance depending on your dress - just something to keep in mind. 
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  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    I agree that symmetry isn't necessary. As far as your daughter goes, ask her. She will know whether she wants to throw flower petals or just stand up there with her mom. I'm guessing she'll want to toss those petals.

    And regardless of her role, you can find a pretty white flower girl dress and, if possible, get a sash that matches your BM's dress color. It will be a lot easier than trying to find her an entire dress that matches the color.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Have both of the 6yo's wearing the same dress and the other bridesmaid wear something she's comfortable in in the designated color/formality in her budget.  

    Your bridesmaid can walk in with two gentlemen and be entirely fine if you're "worried" about how it'd look.  
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  • thunder_bridethunder_bride member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    I agree that flower girl is a better role for them at that age. People won't be thinking about symmetrical numbers, just how cute they are!
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