Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Same name as BIL ex wife

So we got married yesterday, April 1st 2020. I plan to change my last name. My brother in law's ex wife still has their last name and her and I share a same first and middle name. Her middle name has a k in it instead of a c but otherwise same name. I know most places use other forms of identity than just name but I'm worried I'll be mixed up with her a lot. She has a bad history and really isnt a good person.  This wont stop me from taking my husband's last name just wondering how to adjust or prepare for the mix ups. 

Re: Same name as BIL ex wife

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You could move your birth name to your middle and change your last name to his. Most people don't really care about middle names, but it could help you if she has an arrest warrant or something. 
    MairePoppyILoveBeachMusiccharlotte989875short+sassy
  • You could move your birth name to your middle and change your last name to his. Most people don't really care about middle names, but it could help you if she has an arrest warrant or something. 
    Congratulations!

    I think @MyNameIsNot's post is a great idea.

    I would also suggest "locking" your credit reports.  If you Google that, you'll find instructions on how to do it.  But it's not that hard or time consuming.  While your credit reports are locked, no lenders/'cc companies/etc. can pull them up.  And accidentally attach something she's applied for, to your report.  I think that's good advice for anyone.  It also largely stops identity theft in it's tracks.

    If you ever need to apply for financing, you just need to remember to unlock it before doing that.  And then you can lock it back up again after your financing goes through.

    Of course, in a perfect world that shouldn't happen anyway.  However, the credit bureaus are dysfunctional clowns who make mistakes ALL the time on people's credit reports and I don't trust them.  But when they or lenders make mistakes, it's the victim who is stuck with the big hassle of unraveling it.

    My friend had a similar scenario happen to her.  She has a common last name and someone with her same name defaulted on a car loan.  Of course, the other person had a different SSN...the lender who kept harassing her with phone calls verified they didn't have my friend's social...so it was puzzling how it even happened.  Yet it did.  Every time time she spoke to the lender, they'd apologize and say they would stop calling her.  But they kept harassing her anyway and she spent months trying get it sorted out.  She had to send two rounds of letters to all the credit bureaus before they finally took the loan off her credit report and have it stay off. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited May 2020
    Can you switch from your first name and middle initial to your first initial and middle name? And of course, lock your credit reports. You might also consider hyphenating your surname with your husband's or retaining your existing surname for legal purposes.
  • In my culture, women who take their husband's names when they marry drop their own middle name and use their birth surname as their middle name. So if you were called Sarah Anne Johnson at birth, then married Timothy Clayton, you would change your name to Sarah Johnson Clayton upon marriage. This isn't for everyone, but I think it might be the solution for you.
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