Dear Prudence,
I have five children, ranging in ages from 12 to 20 years old, whom I absolutely adore. My youngest child has recently come out to us, stating they want to start a (very slow) transition to being a woman. We all support them fully on this. My problem is all my children were given names with a fairly specific pattern (I’m that kind of person), and the name my child has chosen, for now, does not match. I have been trying to encourage them to pick a name that matches their siblings’ names a little better. It would break my heart, and drive me crazy, to introduce my children as “Jill,” “Phil,” “Bill,” “Lill,” and … “Alexandria.” The name they have picked isn’t carved in stone, and I feel cruel and petty for not liking it. Am I in the wrong for trying to get them to change their name to one that fits their brothers and sisters a little better? They are already going through so much both mentally and physically. I want them to still feel a part of our family and not struggle any more than they have to.