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No one cares about your wedding as much as you

CasadenaCasadena member
First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My fiancé and I have recently come to the conclusion that we have to postpone our summer wedding. I know that there are people experiencing much worse things during this time, but we feel pretty let down. I have been particularly disappointed by my friends’ reactions, which have mainly been something along the lines of “That stinks!” and no follow-up. I would have expected a bit more from our close friends. Am I wrong to feel hurt by this?

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Re: No one cares about your wedding as much as you

  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Even under the best of circumstances, nobody will ever care about your wedding as much as you do. Especially right now, a lot of your friends are probably dealing with more pressing issues, and your wedding is the last thing on their mind. 

    You are absolutely allowed to be upset about having to postpone such an important event. But stop wasting your time and energy worrying whether other people are unhappy enough about it. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think this is unfortunately giving the reality check to a lot of people who felt like they were about to have "their" moment.   When we're in the middle of a recession/depression, a pandemic and complete uncertainty, a lot of people aren't sure how they're going to pay their bills.   

    You need to look at this through the lens of those affected.   They may be relieved that they don't need to figure out how to add the expense of your wedding to their diminishing budgets and they may be happy that a postponed wedding means not having to say, "I'm not willing to put myself at risk right now both physically and financially." 

    I feel this way with the ton of graduate comments.   I get it.   You're not getting a prom or your field trip or your ceremony with the cap and gown.   It's rough, and you have a right to be disappointed.   But a lot of people are disappointed right now for a lot of different reasons.   You are one of many rather than one of few. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'm not sure what the LW is expecting.  I would be sad with my friend at the time they told me.  Express similar condolences.  I'd probably also ask a few questions.  Maybe bring it up every once in awhile, if I happen to be in a typical conversation with them.  But it's probably too soon for that last part because the situation wouldn't be any different yet.

    And if the LW is still struggling, I'd think they and their close friends can commiserate together with all the disappointing things happening right now.  Including the LW's postponed wedding.
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2020
    short+sassy said:
    I'm not sure what the LW is expecting.  I would be sad with my friend at the time they told me.  Express similar condolences.  I'd probably also ask a few questions.  Maybe bring it up every once in awhile, if I happen to be in a typical conversation with them.  But it's probably too soon for that last part because the situation wouldn't be any different yet.

    And if the LW is still struggling, I'd think they and their close friends can commiserate together with all the disappointing things happening right now.  Including the LW's postponed wedding.
    I think this is key. I would guess almost everyone I know is missing out on something because of this pandemic, whether it's a wedding or a vacation or even just getting to celebrate a birthday or anniversary the way they normally would. It's small potatoes compared to the bigger problems going on right now, but it's still valid to be unhappy about it. And if everyone else in LW's circle wants to vent and commiserate over what they're missing, and LW wants to throw her wedding into that mix, that's totally fine. But I think it's more than a little ridiculous for LW to expect her friends to fawn over her in sadness about her wedding getting postponed. And it seems to be that's exactly what she's expecting. It's like she's not thinking of what disappointments or stresses her friends might have right now.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What kind of response is the LW expecting? Flowers and casseroles for a postponed wedding!? 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yeah people should really stopped being so concerned about getting sick, or their loved ones dying, or losing their jobs to commiserate more profoundly about a postponed wedding. 

    I’m SUPER disappointed about all the things I’m missing right now (vacation, baby shower, anniversary plans) but I’m also really trying hard not to get sick and die. 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @drunkenwitch I literally LOL’d

    it’s a postponement.  It’s still going to happen.  They were probably just happy that you bought them more time to fit into their dresses.  I know that’s how I felt when I found out my cousin postponed hers. 

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  • atalbot74atalbot74 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    It kinda makes you think differently about all the money you'll be spending..  :s
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