Dear Prudence,
I work in a big city with a relatively high cost of living. I work at a nonprofit that I feel very strongly about and am happy to have gotten away from the small town where I was often harassed for being gender-nonconforming. However, the grind of living paycheck to paycheck (even when saving often and spending frugally) is wearing me down. I was recently approved to be an egg donor from a very reputable agency and could make $10,000. But I worry about my siblings. No one in my family has ever done anything like this, and I can only imagine the judgment and prying questions I’d face if it ever came to light. My partner knows my plans and is supportive. If we ever have children in the future, I’d obviously share my status as a donor when they’re old enough to understand. But do I need to tell my own siblings? I know they’d be horrified if they found out years later via one of those genetic sequencing companies. But the idea of just keeping it to myself seems vastly easier at this point in my life—especially when I already face so much judgment from them for being gender-nonconforming. What should I do?
—Egg Donor Loner