Dear Prudence,
I’ve been in a book club of 15 women for about a year now. We’ve since taken to meeting over Zoom once a month. One member, “Jada,” has had a difficult year. She’s dealt with job loss and a death in the family, not to mention the pandemic. The problem is that she’s started to dominate our meetings, such that it’s feeling more like a therapy session than a discussion group. Though we try to stay “in the text,” she manages to turn every topic into an opportunity to unload about incredibly personal things like childhood trauma, repressed sexual abuse, financial insecurity, a 20-year-old friend breakup. It’s just a lot. Another member of the club gently recommended that Jada seek therapy, but she said she “didn’t need to pay someone to listen.” I’ve found myself starting to dread our meetings. It’s a downer to hear Jada unload, and I feel simultaneously helpless, sad for her, and annoyed at her monopolization of the airtime. What’s the right next step here?
—Book Club Bore