I'm getting married next May and I have had a really hard time planning my wedding and making decisions. I have often been worried about making the wrong decisions or hurt people's feelings. When it came to my bridesmaids, I had decided not to have a MOH because I didn't want to have to choose and hurt feelings. I shared my plan with 2 of my 4 bridesmaids and have since realized that I really do want one of my friends to be my MOH...but how do I now tell my other friend that I'm choosing someone else to be my MOH? Or do I just stick to my decision and not choose at all?
The girl who I want as my bridesmaid (not MOH) is my best friend from childhood. We always grew up saying we would be each other's MOH. However, since we've become adults, she has moved across the country and with our busy schedules, distance, and the time difference, we hardly talk or see one another. However we are still best friends and always pick up where we left off. When I told her the news that I wasn't picking a MOH because I wanted all my bridesmaids to be my MOH and just couldn't choose, and asked how she felt, she said, "Great, it's whatever you want. It's your wedding".
The other girl, the one who I want to ask to be my MOH, is my best friend from college. We talk nearly every day/multiple times a day, and she has been there for a lot of major moments in my life, including a lot of wedding planning drama. Pulling from Grey's Anatomy, my husband to be is the love of my life and my friend is my soul mate. When I told her, she sounded disappointed but said, "Ok, that sounds good."
My mom suggested that I wait about a month (I only told them this yesterday) and say something along the lines of to the friend I don't want as MOH, "You know, I've done a lot of thinking and I realized I'm in a bit more over my head than I originally thought and will need more help planning things than I thought. I've decided I'm going to make ______ my Maid of Honor and have her plans things out. I just know how busy you are with work and how much travel you have coming up in the next year, I just don't want you to feel weighed down or spread too thin."
The thing is, I don't want to want it to sound like, "Just kidding, I don't want you and I'm choosing someone else" or sound like I think my friend couldn't do it or would do a bad job. My other thought would be to just stick to my decision and be ok with it.
Thoughts? All suggestions for what I could do and how I might deliver this message would be greatly appreciated