Dear Prudence,
Last year my brother died. His wife planned to return to her home country with my nephew, and my parents reacted badly. My sister-in-law left her son in their care for a week while she finalized arrangements, and they refused to give him back. They tried to stage an “intervention” with friends and family about why leaving the country was a bad idea. My sister-in-law locked herself in the bathroom and called her lawyer. He convinced my parents to return her son. She then left the country.
I was out of state and working a double shift while all of this happened. I didn’t find out how crazy things got until later that week. I am the only family member who has any contact with my brother’s widow or her son now. She sends me occasional updates and photos. I haven’t told my relatives about this because I don’t want to be treated like a go-between. She’s since told me that she was actually pregnant when my brother died, and she didn’t feel safe telling our family after the incident with her son. I now have another nephew, and I don’t know what to do: It would kill my parents to know they’ve lost another grandson, but I’m worried they’ll try to do something drastic again. It will harm my relationship with my family if I keep this secret—but what happens when my nephews get older, and my parents find out another way?
—Second Nephew