Dear Prudence,
To cope with everyone being stuck at home all the time, my partner has taken to wearing noise-cancelling headphones. He says it helps him recharge. But he wears them from breakfast until bedtime (usually streaming content from his phone), and it’s become impossible to talk to him without first having to gesture wildly to attract his attention. I’ve asked him not to wear them during family time and joked that they’ll become permanently attached. His compromise is to wear one side on, and push the other side behind his ear. I respect that he’s an introvert and needs time alone. Before the pandemic we accommodated that pretty well: I’d handle the night routine and planned weekend activities that gave him the house to himself for a few hours.
But everyone working and studying from home, plus our state’s restrictions, mean we have to share the night routine and can’t go out much. We reached a tipping point recently, when I attempted to remove his headphones because I thought he was asleep. He wasn’t, and accused me of “not understanding” his need for solitude. I’m worried that escaping into videos and video games has become an unhealthy coping strategy. And I wonder if some of our youngest kid’s trouble with listening can be traced back to watching their father check out. I want to be respectful, but I also think we have to have a real conversation about this habit. How do I do it?
—Noises Off