Prudie Day!

charlotte989875 · July 2020

Happy Thursday, at least I think it’s Thursday? Not working has made me completely uncertain over what day it is.

Not much here, still no baby, H is working to finish up some last minute work, and I’m taking all the naps.

Also trying to avoid watching our democracy crumble as the President calls to delay the election. Yes, he can’t actually do it, but that doesn’t give me a ton of confidence he won’t try and convince the people who can do it to delay.

Tell me there’s some good Prudie’s to distract today.

mrsconn23 · July 2020

He can't delay it without congress getting on board. I think there's enough even on the right that would never go for it. But I knew the suggestion was coming especially since he's been trying out the whole invalidating the election messaging for a couple weeks. We are living in a legit dystopian nightmare. Again, will never not be tired for the rest of my life.

Speaking of dystopian, DefConn went to school in person today. He was excited. His bestie called last night and they both were super pumped that they still ride the same bus.

I,OTOH, spent the evening being a hot fucking mess. DH being upset, not at me, but about something else set me off. He was getting emotional to me, and then I just lost it and cried off and on for a few hours. I think the stress of this week's events, not feeling confident about what the 'right' decision was for starting school, and just all the other stuff that's always on a low boil in the background of my mind decided to come out my eyeballs. I called SIL/BFF and talked to her for almost an hour about everything.

I'm okayish this morning. Yay for a therapy day today.

Prudie coming up.

cupcait927 · July 2020

Every day with Trump feels like a nightmare, and just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. I'm legit scared that somehow he will postpone the election. Anything is possible these days.

Day 3 of DD wearing her helmet. Tonight is the first night she has to sleep in it all night - please send me all the good vibes that it doesn't bother her. She's the most amazing sleeper and it will break my heart if she struggles.

Other than that, SSDD. H and I took two days off coming up in August and we were planning last night what we want to do with our alone time (DD will still go to childcare). I fully intend to spend one of those days laying in bed and napping for a good part of it.

cupcait927 · July 2020

@charlotte989875 you're so close! Take ALL the naps!

@mrsconn23 I was watching the news last night and they had reports from NBC news covering the school openings in Indiana. They interviewed kids and parents and it's clear that everyone is still conflicted about what is "right". I don't envy parents with school-aged children right now, trying to decide what route to go.

ei34 · July 2020

Ugh vibes @mrsconn23 there really isn't a right answer. You must be doing something right (wonderful) though if even though you're so stressed (I am too) Defconn was so excited. You must be putting on a brave face/saying all the right things for him to be able to enjoy this.
@cupcait927 good luck to your baby tonight

I do learning time with each kid Mon-Fri, one-on-one, as opposed to trying to teach them at the same time (a trick I picked up about halfway through pandemic learning this spring). Earlier with my 6-yr-old (rising 1st grader) I was laughing so hard. I give her a couple sentences to write each day as part of her time. I make them up based on similar vowels, no real rhyme or reason. One today was "The dog runs fast". She was soo stuck- "mommy, what vowel do I need for daw-ug?" "What vowel is in fai-uhst?" The Queens accent is no joke! I was like "I don't even know Eva, sorry!". Nothing like a one syllable word being stretched to two. I mean we moved to LI, her teachers sound like me, so I guess she better get used to it

VarunaTT · July 2020

I'm just glad we're looking towards the end of the week. All the hugs, @mrsconn23.

Oh at work yesterday, we had a meeting that really basically was, "could you all stop being bitches", with a heavy "especially Varuna" implication b/c HR lady kept staring at me. Thank goodness for masks covering my face. We're pulling in a load of new employees (to replace all those who have walked out/fired from covid related BS) and they don't want us sharing our frustrations with them. I think this was a little pointed at me b/c HR lady came by with a new hire as I was reviewing a file. This means I put on loud hiphop in my ears and stare at my computer for a few hours, learning a case from the very beginning to present. HR lady finally had to knock on the wall to get my attention. I said my, "Hey, hi, hello" and was totally uninterested in HR's lady's 5 minute explanation about what I do vs. other paralegals. I kept turning away b/c I thought she was finished and had to keep looking back b/c she was still talking. Look, I'm fully aware I'm a disgruntled employee,; I've lived through a 90% turnover here multiple times now and I don't bother to learn people's names until after 6 months b/c so many leave before that time frame. Also, I'm busy which should've been supremely obvious and don't have time for these shennanigans. In good news though, I know who is moving next to me and I really like her, so that's a load off.

Otherwise, SSDD. I need to clean my kitchen badly tonight, but I keep telling myself that at least I'm cooking at home, so if that's all I can do, the dishes can wait. But it is getting a little gross. Because I know you're all interested, my butt is still sore from the rowing machine and I'm glad it's a rest day for that. Imagine smiley face here, b/c I don't like the Knot's emojis.

levioosa · July 2020

I’m so exhausted. My brother OD’d yesterday. He’s still alive but most likely has aspiration pneumonia now. He left the hospital AMA. I feel so bad for my parents. It’s my dad’s birthday today too. I’m just tired of life right now. I did a hike last night to try and get past a little of the funk. It helped a little but I’m feeling especially drained and depressingly introspective today. I wish I could just stay home for a few days.

banana468 · July 2020

OMG @levioosa I'm so sorry.

Am I recalling that you know that he's battled addiction? What an awful disease.

cupcait927 · July 2020

@levioosa Oh I'm so sorry. That's a lot for anyone to process, particularly when you're already dealing with a stressful job. If there's anyway you can find to take a day to yourself, I recommend doing so.

mrsconn23 · July 2020

@levioosa, I am so sorry. All the vibes for your brother, you, your parents, and family. ((hugs))

ei34 · July 2020

I'm really sorry to hear that @levioosa, thinking about you and your family right now

levioosa · July 2020

@banana468 yes, he’s been struggling with addiction and alcoholism since he was probably 13-14. Tbh I thought he would be gone a long time before now. It’s not surprising but it’s still hard. And I hate that my parents are home living with him, even though it’s truly their choice to do so. I’m also not sure this wasn’t intentional, as my mom said over the last two weeks he’s been doing much better, in a good mood, etc. The only reason he’s alive is because my parent’s dog woke them up and insisted they go check on him.

charlotte989875 · July 2020

Damn @levioosa, that’s awful. Thinking of you and your family. How are your parents?

CharmedPam · July 2020

Holy shit @levioosa. That. Is. A lot. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.

@VarunaTT, haha. I loved the “kept looking away thinking She was done but oh. She wasn’t” Been there. Done that. Glad you’ll have a good neighbor at least.
@cupcait927 sending all the “good helmet vibes” for you and DD
@mrsconn23 and other parents, I can only imagine what you’re going through/thinking. Should they or shouldn’t they? I’m getting mixed emotions from my own friends with kids.

So yesterday was garbage day for me. When I came home last night, I saw that they didn’t empty out my bin. Looks like the smaller bag on top, where I placed the sticker toppled over, so sticker side was on the bottom. So they opened the bin, didn't see a sticker on it, and left it.

Thankfully My friend lives in a townhome complex so I threw it in my trunk and drove it to her dumpster. It could NOT sit in my hot garage another week.

I was so pissed and in a hurry to cook to get over there, that I burnt my tilapia and had to eat ice cream instead!

MNNEBride · July 2020

@levioosa, I so sorry. Thinking of you and your entire family.

Casadena · July 2020

@levioosa I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Thinking of you and your family.
@VarunaTT i'm glad youre getting a good desk neighbor.

I woke up with a bad headache this morning. Surprising since the babe slept through the night last night for the first time in like a month!!! He's been teething and growing like crazy but I'm really hoping to get back to full nights of sleep regularly.

levioosa · July 2020

@charlotte989875 they’re okay but sad. I just think they don’t really know what to do. If they kick him out it’s pretty much the end for him and I don’t think they’re emotionally prepared for that. But they can’t keep living this way. He’s volatile and brings over dangerous people. They never feel at ease in their own home. Addiction is a hell of a disease and it seeps it’s way into the whole family.

MyNameIsNot · July 2020

@levioosa, I'm so sorry. That's a lot on top of everything else.

Nothing new here. I'm looking for this rain that was supposed to be here all week and cursing at my work computer.

charlotte989875 · July 2020

levioosa said:

@charlotte989875 they’re okay but sad. I just think they don’t really know what to do. If they kick him out it’s pretty much the end for him and I don’t think they’re emotionally prepared for that. But they can’t keep living this way. He’s volatile and brings over dangerous people. They never feel at ease in their own home. Addiction is a hell of a disease and it seeps it’s way into the whole family.

Have they/ are they willing to talk to someone (family counselor, social worker) about what to do? Sometimes having an outsider help you through the different paths can be helpful.

short+sassy · July 2020

@charlotte989875, what I would like to say to Trump, "Oh, Honey! You've had some of the worst approval ratings in presidential history BEFORE COVID happened. If anything, pushing the election further out is only going to make them worse, not better."

You're a POTUS who knows you're in trouble when...you're already researching how to invalidate the election results, lmao.

@mrsconn23, I'm sorry you were especially hit hard last night ((hugs)).

@levioosa, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother! My best thoughts and wishes go out to you and your family.

@VarunaTT, I'm glad the person moving next to you is one of the "good" coworkers.

Another harsh day in paradise. Definitely better than yesterday, though that's a really low bar, lol.

MyNameIsNot · July 2020

short+sassy said:

@charlotte989875, what I would like to say to Trump, "Oh, Honey! You've had some of the worst approval ratings in presidential history BEFORE COVID happened. If anything, pushing the election further out is only going to make them worse, not better."

You're a POTUS who knows you're in trouble when...you're already researching how to invalidate the election results, lmao.

I'm honestly terrified about the election. 5 years ago, I would have laughed and said it couldn't happen. But now? I don't know.

People are literally being kidnapped off the street and being told that the only way to get out on bail is to agree not to attend any protests. I'm losing faith very quickly. "That can't happen here" is no longer in my vocabulary.

kvruns · July 2020

hugs @levioosa that's a lot to take in, especially for your parents who want to do the best for him, that would be tough

levioosa · July 2020

charlotte989875 said:

levioosa said:

@charlotte989875 they’re okay but sad. I just think they don’t really know what to do. If they kick him out it’s pretty much the end for him and I don’t think they’re emotionally prepared for that. But they can’t keep living this way. He’s volatile and brings over dangerous people. They never feel at ease in their own home. Addiction is a hell of a disease and it seeps it’s way into the whole family.

Have they/ are they willing to talk to someone (family counselor, social worker) about what to do? Sometimes having an outsider help you through the different paths can be helpful.

My mom is part of Nar-anon and Al-Anon and they’ve sporadically attended NAMI meetings. I wish they would go to counseling/therapy but you can only lead a horse to water. It’s gotten so bad before I’ve had to tell them, “you can’t continue to vent to me if you won’t seek outside help and set boundaries. It won’t change and I won’t keep listening if you won’t seek help.” Unfortunately they had an awful therapy session with my brother once with a therapist who has no business being in the field and I think it scared them (or at least my dad and brother) off.

short+sassy · July 2020

MyNameIsNot said:

short+sassy said:

@charlotte989875, what I would like to say to Trump, "Oh, Honey! You've had some of the worst approval ratings in presidential history BEFORE COVID happened. If anything, pushing the election further out is only going to make them worse, not better."

You're a POTUS who knows you're in trouble when...you're already researching how to invalidate the election results, lmao.

I'm honestly terrified about the election. 5 years ago, I would have laughed and said it couldn't happen. But now? I don't know.

People are literally being kidnapped off the street and being told that the only way to get out on bail is to agree not to attend any protests. I'm losing faith very quickly. "That can't happen here" is no longer in my vocabulary.

For sure! As much as I'd like to say "it's a done deal", that was also what I thought in the last election.

But however the election goes, I don't think putting it off would help him like he thinks it would. I think it either wouldn't make a difference or would hurt him.

It is very troubling that, despite a long list of outrageous and illegal acts he has blatantly perpetrated...on top of grossly mishandling COVID...that there are still so many people in his corner.

I have a friend who voted for Trump in the last election. He leans Republican, but is fairly middle of the road. He's in IT and works for a defense contractor. His biggest problem with Clinton was that scandal where she had not appropriately safeguarded her e-mail that had national secrets in it (something like that). Considering his line of work, I could kinda understand his POV, even when I wanted to scream.

We mutually decided we would no longer discuss politics together and I have held my tongue. But would love to ask him, "Sooo, hindsight being 20/20. Between Trump's rampant use of Twitter and obvious collusions with Russian leaders, is Clinton's e-mail scandal really looking like that big of a deal right now?"

Edited to fix words

charlotte989875 · July 2020

levioosa said:

charlotte989875 said:

levioosa said:

@charlotte989875 they’re okay but sad. I just think they don’t really know what to do. If they kick him out it’s pretty much the end for him and I don’t think they’re emotionally prepared for that. But they can’t keep living this way. He’s volatile and brings over dangerous people. They never feel at ease in their own home. Addiction is a hell of a disease and it seeps it’s way into the whole family.

Have they/ are they willing to talk to someone (family counselor, social worker) about what to do? Sometimes having an outsider help you through the different paths can be helpful.

My mom is part of Nar-anon and Al-Anon and they’ve sporadically attended NAMI meetings. I wish they would go to counseling/therapy but you can only lead a horse to water. It’s gotten so bad before I’ve had to tell them, “you can’t continue to vent to me if you won’t seek outside help and set boundaries. It won’t change and I won’t keep listening if you won’t seek help.” Unfortunately they had an awful therapy session with my brother once with a therapist who has no business being in the field and I think it scared them (or at least my dad and brother) off.

That really sucks, but unfortunately I think that happens a lot. So much of getting something out of counseling is having a good experience with the counselor; and if it goes poorly once people are so much less likely to try again.

I had a really bad experience with Al-Anon when I was younger and it made it hard for me to try again.

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