Just Engaged and Proposals

Help me propose to my boyfriend!

Greetings guys, I could really use some perspective on this

US = Me : MarathonBride + He: Ken - we've been together for 3 years total living together for 1.

Me: 45 - married previously for 13 years, no kids, homeowner, professional in software

Him: - 44 - married previously for 3 years, one son JR in college. Ken moved into my house last summer, he is also a professional in software.

Background:

We have talked about marriage often, are both solidly on board and have started the plans for a classy, backyard wedding next July. I know he has purchased an engagement ring - but I've not seen it.

His first marriage was a JP with only a witness, They did not have a reception as he was in the Air Force. My first wedding was the 5 alarm, traditional hoopla. I'd be happy with a JP, but he would like to have a ceremony and reception for his family, to give his mother a chance to plan a wedding etc.. The way I see it, he can run the show of the wedding. He's genuinely enjoying all the logistical planning and web site creation, etc. and I'm happy to let his mom make decisions and plan "wedding things" that she would like. I only require that it be classy, small, and have excellent catering. Other than that, I am more than happy to let his mom have at all the details her heart desires.

So

The Deal:

I want to surprise him with a proposal he will never see coming in a million years. I have contacted a local movie theater and I am working on renting the marquee for the day and night (it's a small town, and with the pandemic, the theater is not currently open to the public). I thought this might be a neat way to propose and it will help the theater pull in a tiny bit of money.

The theater is in a cute little downtown area of a small liberal arts college town, a place we go to frequently and where I grew up. It's the only theater in the town and the marquee is right in the center of town.

I'll ask him to walk downtown for lunch with me. On the way there we will pass directly under the marquee. Aaaaaaand... that's as far as I've gotten. (Which is where you fine people come in.)

  1. Is it cool for me to do this? Is it as neat of an idea as I think, or as a man would you be embarrassed and think it silly? This town is VERY small, and with the college students gone there is not going to be much foot traffic at all (5 people might walk past in a half hour) so it's not like he'll be under the pressure of a million strangers walking past and staring. I'd really appreciate a man's opinion on this.

  2. If this is cool for me to do, what I should put on the marquee? The marquee is shaped like a triangle with the 2 long sides coming to a point over the sidewalk. So I have 2 distinct sides to work with - you can only see 1 side of the marquee until you pass under the point, turn around and view the second side. It's a great opportunity for some humor, or I could go the incredibly sweet route. Opinions??

Am I missing anything? There is a park directly across the street, so I plan to have a friend with a camera there. After he sees it, my plan is to continue walking to lunch. Should I plan something else and chuck this thought?

Is there a different way you would want your girlfriend to propose? Do I get down on 1 knee - or can I skip that part?

I welcome any and all suggestions! Thanks!


And I suppose I could always chuck this entire idea and do something completely different.

Re: Help me propose to my boyfriend!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 19
    Chuck the entire idea. No "humor." No marquee or theatrics.

    I get that you want to make this special, but who is all this for? Your boyfriend? Is he really going to like that you want a marquee and that you have to go to a lot of trouble to set this up? Does he want to "have the question popped" to him in public in a "humorous" way? Will he see this as "incredibly sweet" or as an annoyance?

    And above all, will he accept it without feeling like you emotionally strong-armed him into it by doing it in public in such a cutesy, theatrical way?

    If you really want your proposal to be "incredibly sweet", much less accepted, I suggest just asking him in private, in a dignified fashion, that doesn't make him feel put on the spot. (He may feel like that anyway, but probably not so much in this situation than if he had to pass under that marquee or was otherwise "popped the question"). Don't treat him like a captive audience for a gag.

    Alternatively: let him propose to you.
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