Dear Prudence,
When my husband and I got married, I kept my singular surname, and he kept his hyphenated one. Think “Jane Taylor” and “Joe Johnson-Miller.” His mother, a professionally accomplished woman, kept her surname (“Johnson”) and hyphenated her son’s last name with her husband’s (“Miller”). We are now expecting our first child. While I don’t expect the child to have a hyphenation of our surnames like “Taylor-Miller,” I do take issue with only using my husband’s hyphenated surname. My husband wants to use “Johnson-Miller” as the baby’s last name, which makes me feel dismissed. I’d prefer a compromise like “Baby Miller,” but my husband seems adamant about keeping both parts of his surname in the mix, and suggested all three: Taylor-Johnson-Miller, which feels absurd. Am I wrong to feel like the presence of his mother’s surname eliminates me from the picture?
—Hyphenated Headache