Wedding Woes

Leave the man alone, geeze.

Dear Prudence,

I’m a middle-aged married woman who just loves social-style dancing: swing, salsa, and low-key ballroom. I used to participate in a local dance culture where you don’t need to show up with a partner, the dress style is casual, and everyone relaxes and has a great time. But now with COVID, the dancing is off. I’ve asked my husband to dance with me just in private at home, but he absolutely refuses. He says he has two left feet. That’s nonsense—he’s a natural athlete. The truth is that he just doesn’t like it, and I don’t know why. Dancing with him would mean a lot to me and alleviate stress during quarantine. He’s usually so sweet and communicative, but on this issue he just gives me a flat no. We’re not doing exhibition dancing! It’s a waltz in the living room! What am I missing here?

—He Won’t Dance

Re: Leave the man alone, geeze.

  • You’re missing the very clear message he is giving you that he’s not interested. Drop it and learn a solo style dance until studios/places open up again. 
  • What are you missing here?  You're missing the fact that you are being an overbearing jerk.  Your husband hates dancing, stop trying to make him dance.  We all have to make sacrifices right now and whining about something so fucking trivial makes you look like a spoiled brat. 

  • I too love ballroom dance. And I take zoom classes alone in my living room. 
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 20
    **blink blink**  What?  It's not like she's asking him to do something that will cause a medical issue or is morally ambiguous.  She even usually works around his dislike and does her own thing.  That's not possible.  He can't suck it up for a bit to dance with her in the privacy of their own home during an life altering unusual time?

    If there's a bigger reason than just discomfort, he needs to share why and that can be discussed and whatever needs to be done (including not dancing) can be done.  Otherwise, his two left feet can get his butt up and step around a square shape.
  • While I agree with you all, I feel for the LW!  It does seem like a small ask for him to dance with her at least once in awhile.  But, if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to and she needs to respect that.

    For me, it's Boggle/Scrabble and other word-related games.  I love them!  I wish my H would play them with me.  Even once in awhile.  But he won't.  Meh.  So I play them online instead.

    Fond memories.  My dad passed away too young over 25 years ago.  He was NOT a dancer, the last person you would expect to dance.  At least not a dancer initially.  But my mom has always loved dancing, especially ballroom dancing.  My dad wanted to make her happy, so they went to a lot of classes/events.  Even his two left feet eventually got coordinated with practice, lol, and they were both AMAZING dancers.  It was a huge pastime of theirs. 
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