Bridesmaid Dilemma

Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma

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  MyNameIsNot member

  

  September 2020 edited September 2020

  knottie9873011c384c0301 said:

  Alright so I need some bridesmaid advice! I have 2 girls I am considering asking because we always have fun when we're together, though when we're apart we don't keep in touch. One girl helped my fiance and I get together, but we only catch up every couple months and briefly at that. Another girl I worked with and we clicked super quickly, which doesn't normally happen. We hung out every week until she moved away a year later. I have traveled to see her and we have chatted a little since then, but it's not like we talk often. I find it hard to make friends, so I think of these girls as friends still even if we don't talk. I'm just worried they don't feel the same way and would be weirded out if I asked them to be bridesmaids. What is everyone's thoughts on this? Thanks in advance! 

  In general, if you have to ask if someone should be your bridesmaid, the answer is no. 
  
  Your bridesmaids should be your closest friends in the world. Who would you call if you had an emergency or wanted to share good news? Who do you trust with your secrets? 
  
  It's perfectly normal to maintain friendships, even close ones, with people we don't see or talk to frequently. People are busy and not all BFFs mean spending time together all the time. It's the quality, not the quantity. When you see these women (I'm assuming they're adults, not children), do you have surface conversations and just have a good time, or do you actually connect with them? 

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  short+sassy member

  

  September 2020

  It is so eerie how similar your situation is to mine when I got married, lol.  I ended up only asking my sister and neither of the other two women I was thinking about.  My sister and I aren't that close either, but we get along great.  I only wanted one attendant anyway.  Her children were my flower girl and ring bearer.  So it just made sense all around.
  
  I live halfway across the country from all of them and we're just not as close as we used to be, but have the best time and we're close as ever on the rare occasions when I see them.  One of them I think would have been thrilled to have been asked.  But, yeah, I've always felt I have stronger feelings of friendship to the second one than she feels in return.  She probably would have accepted, but I know she would have been surprised and maybe thought it was odd.
  
  With all that said, I knew it then and it's even worse to see it in writing, how silly it was to assume people's feelings, lol.  If you like them enough you want to invite them into your WP, I think you should.  I hear you on the nervousness and feeling awkward.  But chances are they will be thrilled and, even if they aren't and decline, it certainly wouldn't have any negative affect on the friendship.
  

  

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