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Take her on a shopping spree.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I have a teenage stepdaughter who has officially “blossomed” into womanhood. Always a small child, she’s still on the shorter side, but definitely not petite. Neither is she overweight, but I feel she should dress more appropriately. I don’t necessarily mean “conservatively,” but rather her clothes are too small—everything is too tight and too short, and it looks like she should wear things one if not two sizes larger. My husband still sees her as tiny, and her mother is not a parental figure at all, but telling her to wear a larger size puts me into evil stepmother territory. Is there a way to discreetly tell her that her clothes don’t fit?

—Not Evil, I Promise

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Re: Take her on a shopping spree.

  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Absolutely not. Lots of teenagers wear ill fitting clothing. You can certainly take her shopping though. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can take her shopping and see if that helps.  

    Does she need a helpful person with a wallet to buy clothes?  Is she also going through an issue with body dysmorphia?  This is going to be a conversation that requires quality execution because you don't want to harm her.   Also take a look at what the kids are wearing.   Is she keeping up with the style? 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yeah I wouldn’t go there.  For birthday’s/christmas you can size up a gift - but coming from Someone who gets clothing gifts a size up from what I wear, Stepdaughter’s not gonna like it.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Talk to your husband first, but take her shopping! Has she been fitted for a bra? Does she have any idea how to do that? Does she choose her own clothes, or is she just wearing the same size that her dad keeps buying her? You can kindly teach her how to choose things in a size and fit of her preference without pushing your style or preferences on her! 

    I remember going through this and being too embarrassed to ask for clothes that fit my newly curvy body. For a while I got away with borrowing/stealing some of my mom's things, but I was far more curvy than she was by 14. I wound up living in huge baggy t-shirts until I had my own job and money and just figured out how to shop for myself. I was 30 before I finally got fitted for a damned bra.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Talk to your H again about how her clothes are fitting. Sounds like he just doesn’t get it. Given that it’s fall and back to school offer to take her shopping for new stuff. Ask her about what clothes she likes and feel good for her to wear. Maybe she needs to try different brands/stores, maybe she feels good in what she’s wearing. 

    Be delicate here, and get in the same page with her Dad before doing anything. 
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    First, get on the same page as dad. Second, aren't there subscription boxes, like stitch fix maybe, where you send in measurements instead of sizes? That way they could be the "badguy" about upping her size instead of LW.

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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Time to go shopping! Maybe LW could say they need stuff and take stepdaughter with them. "hey why don't you get some stuff? Your wardrobe could use some refreshing"

    It opens the door to buying stuff, but also can help with finding right size without talking about size
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Shopping Spree time!!  This is where we learn about "You're not a number, and different manufacturers cut clothing differently so what is a size 0 at one store will be a size 10-12 at another or even in the same store, it's all about fit and showcasing the body you've got at any and all points in your life!" and go into the fitting room and try on different sizes of the same item (once we can do that again) because once they try on stuff that is their style, comfortable to wear, and looks good in the mirror they usually come around quickly.  I did this with my niece whose Mom wasn't in the picture and my brother didn't know how to approach the subject and my daughter at different points in her development.  It's a part of "coming of age" discussions just like the Birds & Bees, learning to drive, social media, etc. 
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