Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend of seven years and I have finally decided to get married, which is very exciting! Our wedding is going to be small but most of the guests will be my fiancé’s family from out of state, whom I have never met. I am a trans woman, and I’m certain most of his family (excluding his parents and brothers) already know that. While his immediate family are kind and supportive (more so than my own), he has occasionally confided in me about his relatives’ racism and homophobia, which he sees on Facebook. I’m worried about the possibility that one of them will make a scene when they meet me. How can I best avoid this? I don’t want to bar his family from coming (especially since we’ve already sent out save-the-dates), but I don’t want to be the focus of cruelty or bigotry, either. My fiancé has assured me he’s going to do everything he can to make me comfortable and happy, but I don’t want him to have to make sacrifices for what should be our special day.
—Terrified Bride