Dear Prudence,
I came out and started transitioning to male right after high school. I’m now in my late 20s. While I still go by the first name I chose as a teenager, I’m “feeling it” less and less. For starters, it definitely fits that particular “drowning Victorian orphan” trans male name stereotype (think Barrington or Elroy). People have had problems pronouncing it, spelling it, you name it. I also worry that potential employers won’t take it seriously. It’s gender-neutral in a way that’s confusing, and I often get told I don’t look like a “Heathcliffe.”
The names I’m considering now (John, Robert, etc.) are more conventional but seem like a better fit—easier to pronounce, easier to spell. But do I want to go through the name change process, legally and socially, yet again? I had just updated my passport! Is it reasonable to ask people in my life to have to switch first names again?
—Not Drowning but Waving