Dear Prudence,
I’m not sure what, if anything, I need to do. I have a son who’s 53 and married, with a family. I got pregnant when I was 18 and was not sure who his father was. I brought him up alone until he was 10, then I got married, and my husband became his stepdad. My son wanted to keep the name he had grown up with and did not want my husband to adopt him. Several weeks ago, my daughter-in-law (who has been doing family trees on a website) got a message from a man asking if she knew someone with my son’s initials. It seems this man had been doing his own research on the same website and learned he must be my son’s father. My son contacted him at the number he’d given my daughter-in-law, and they have had several long talks, as well as exchanged photos and email addresses.
This was a man I’d gone out with several times before he went back to college. That was the end of it. My son is happy to learn he has a half-sister, a half-brother, and a nephew. I’m feeling like it’s none of my business, but I’ve tried to be supportive of him and happy for him. Is there anything else I should do? Am I in legal trouble for not trying to find out who his father was?
—Supportive but Unsure