Monday Morning

VarunaTT · November 2020

Man, this past week was rough. However, all of K's stuff is finally out. My apartment suddenly feels spacious again and even though it's somewhat disorganized, it's so much more neat and clutter free already. My closet is a thing of beauty b/c I can actually see everything I own in it, which is definitely new. I'm only communicating with K's mother (R) at this point. I sent a list of "K needs to do this stuff or there is financial consequences" with R on Saturday. TBH, R seems pretty upset about all of this as well. I told her I knew she was doing this for me, b/c K never would've taken care of it. K also tried to pull some last minute shit that I drew a hard line about, so K didn't come over to help. Just another manipulation.

My best friend's father (technically step father, but for 30 years, so just dad #2 at this point) died over the weekend of covid. It's been truly terrible. His mother did test covid positive but seems to have been asymptomic the entire time. Everyone in my life is just fucking exhausted to be honest.

Ready to be back at work and start finding my new normal.

climbingsingle · November 2020

@VarunaTT I'm so sorry about your friend's father. Sending you all the love and good vibes.

That's great that all of K's stuff is gone though! I know that helps a lot with being able to move forward.

I made my free turkey from work yesterday. It was the first time cooking a whole meal (stuffing, mashed potatoes, my cucumber salad, Brussel sprouts, etc) without my asshole ex trying to "help", telling me I was doing things wrong, stressing me out about the dishes. It was really peaceful and therapeutic.

I ordered a TV from Target today -super cheap for the Cyber Monday deals. Also got the new Alexa for just $28.99. And now I need to stop buying things..haha.

banana468 · November 2020

I'm glad you feel like there's a sense of peace now @VarunaTT and @climbingsingle.

Weekend went very nice. Thanksgiving was at the ILs with delicious food. Friday we pulled out the Christmas decorations so now we just need a tree! Saturday the elf showed up and he's been moving around since. I made turkey stock with the carcass and Saturday night we had homemade soup for dinner and a movie in front of the TV. If you haven't seen The Christmas Chronicles and are in the mood for a cute family friendly Christmas movie it fits. Even my 6 yo liked it.

I have GOT to dig in more on shopping. I think the kids are getting new bikes as their big gifts but we need to get them more and thus far it's only rainbow bath bombs.

ETA: I'm also definitely NOT pregnant. My cycle has been pretty messed up but finally I can drink bourbon without worry.

charlotte989875 · November 2020

Glad you can have some bourbon @banana468!

Weekend was good. Our thanksgiving of lobster and steak was delicious. H left Friday for camp and it was me and the baby. We did great but oh my god I don’t know how people do this alone. I was exhausted. I’m so thankful for my mom and my MIL who came over to give me a break throughout the weekend.

We went and picked out a Christmas tree on Friday. It’s still not decorated but hopefully we’ll get to it this week.

charlotte989875 · November 2020

In an example of just how tired I am. I started pumping this morning and forgot to attach the bottles so literally pumped milk directly onto my pants. Awesome start to the day.

CharmedPam · November 2020

Oh, @VarunaTT, I’m SO sorry about your Dad. Covid sucks. Glad your K clutter free though @climbingsingle, I got a tv on Friday (walmart com), but went back today and didnt see any deals. I’m the one who needs one too! I hear you on the no shopping thing. @banana468, yay for no unexpected baby!

Weekend was good. Lazy. But good. I bought way to many things for me though. Way. To. Many. Tatcha, built bar, bras, jewelery etc etc. oh and @MissKittyDanger, colorpop FINALLY arrived. Love the way the pallets are magnetic and changeable. However, I went glitter crazy, and that shit is hard to get off your face! In fact, I already replaced some of the glitters with more mattes since I know I won’t use them very often. I love glitter but this is to bold for me. I also bought the “orange you glad” pallet from them since I found out I love me some orange hues!

Eta: picture of pallet as promised

ILoveBeachMusic · November 2020

Weekend was good. DD and DS2 went back to their respective homes yesterday. It is so quiet around here without the boys! They really enjoyed decorating our Christmas tree. We only lost one ornament (most of our are glass). Once they got in to the routine of me handing them an ornament and them taking it to one of the other adults everything went great. DS2 was great with them - they love him so much. He rough houses with them which they just love. Christmas decorating is all done. Now I need to work on Christmas cards.

My trainer - I workout with her virtually, her husband and one of her kids are pretty sure they have covid. They are getting tested today, but they have all the symptoms. I haven't seen her in person since September when she brought post-surgery food. SIL's father tested positive, and he got it from his trainer with whom he has been meeting a few times a week. Just goes to show even if you are being careful you can get it. My one friend who was diagnosed last week was hospitalized on Thanksgiving but has been released. She is feeling better but not over it yet. My other friend is on the upswing.

Today is clean up after a weekend full of family.

kerbohl · November 2020

I had a lovely weekend walking with family and spending some quality time. I didn't sleep well all weekend though, so even though I'm coming back from a long weekend I feel exhausted at work. Oh well, I will get through the day and go to bed early.

@VarunaTT So sorry to hear about your friend's dad. I'm glad her mom is not showing symptoms though.

short+sassy · November 2020

@VarunaTT, I am so sorry to hear about your BFF's dad passing away! At least K's stuff is gone. I hope that helps you get to your new normal soon.

I had a good and mostly relaxing Thanksgiving weekend. The only day I left the house was on Friday and that turned out to be very productive. A tenant I have been very worried about paid two-thirds of what she was overdue on Friday with supposedly the rest of it coming this Friday. We shall see. It turned out to be even more suspicious than I'd thought. She's been a little short for months. Then, supposedly, her daughter caught COVID at the end of Sept. and was in the hospital for two months and just went back to work a couple weeks ago. Though the length of the hospital stay has varied each time she tells this story. Mark Twain/Judge Judy, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to have a good memory." In the beginning, I told her by Federal law...and even gave her the name of the specific act...that her daughter's employer is required to pay for up to 80 hours of sick time due to COVID. The tenant's only response was that her daughter is not being paid but, of course, didn't say why. Because it's not true or at least some piece of it is not true. And her daughter has a government job with the parish/county, so they would be following all of those laws.

But anyway, I normally don't pick up rent, but I made an exception because I wanted to make sure I got the money. Hmmm...isn't that interesting. A car with dealer plates in the driveway. I know I've been missing a piece to this story, smh. Now I know why their rent is over a month late. While I was in the kitchen counting it, I overheard a conversation this same daughter was having about "had you heard that so and so has COVID?"..."Yeah, I was lucky I just had a cough when I had it." As I was getting ready to leave, the daughter apologized that they have been late but she'd been really sick and only just went back to work. I don't know if she realized she made a major slip of the tongue in my presence or was going to say that anyway, but the whole thing was so eye rolling. Extremely annoying all around but, bottom line, I finally got a big chunk of the rent.

I also had another tenant's rent that had given us cash. I then went to my bank and made a big HELOC payment (phew!). This bank was across the street from my eye doctor's. If you all remember, my glasses broke last week. They were not able to find frames that would fit those lenses, but I was able to find my second pair. I rarely wore them because they were too loose. But they were able to tighten those up. And bonus! I checked on when my last appointment was, it was last year. So I made another appointment for next Mon. because I pay for eye insurance with my employer and can get a free pair of glasses or order of contacts, if I do it before the end of the year. One last, little bonus. It was in the same shopping center as a Winn Dixie grocery store who had a "get two boxes of popcorn for free" special this week. The store was almost empty and, in less than five minutes, I'd snagged my free popcorn.

The rest of the weekend was making a dent to my DVR'ed shows...while eating some of that popcorn, lol.

banana468 · November 2020

So the daughter was really grateful to have "just have had a cough" and suddenly she was also really sick?

I do get that if you're out with Covid at all most places are following CDC guidelines telling you to stay home but with that comes the reimbursement.

I guess you need to make sure that Friday you get paid and no new major awards show up at their residence. How convenient it would be if there's suddenly a brand new leg lamp in their living room window....

CharmedPam · November 2020

Isn’t that the truth @ILoveBeachMusic? I know someone who doesn’t dine out, go anywhere and if she does - with a mask always. Very cautious. But she had to take her husband to the doctors/hospital or whatever to get some tests done for something else and they both got it

. I hope those people in your life recover quickly

I loved that you called those tenants out @short+sassy!

ei34 · November 2020

I’m so sorry about your friend’s father @VarunaTT, glad your home is feeling peaceful again.

Thanksgiving was nice. The rain held off and we were able to do our outdoor apps and potluck dinner to go. It was brief but special. We went to the Holiday Lights at the Bronx Zoo Friday evening. Festive, outdoors, masks required..it was the perfect kickoff. The kids and I did a bit of Christmas decorating Sat and Sun.
Trying to make calls and just endless time on hold on my free periods to schedule my son’s upcoming ear canal surgery. A dislike about my job is not being able to take calls when you’re in front of a classroom. Some of these doctors if you miss their call that’s it, ugh.

short+sassy · November 2020

banana468 said:

So the daughter was really grateful to have "just have had a cough" and suddenly she was also really sick?

I do get that if you're out with Covid at all most places are following CDC guidelines telling you to stay home but with that comes the reimbursement.

I guess you need to make sure that Friday you get paid and no new major awards show up at their residence. How convenient it would be if there's suddenly a brand new leg lamp in their living room window....

I do need to serve them with a new Pay or Quit notice tomorrow. It would give them this whole week to pay the remainder, which is what they said they were going to do anyway. They pay twice a month (10th and 24th). The last one I served them was Nov. 11th. They satisfied the amount on that previous one, but half their rent was due again on the 24th. They've paid $100 toward that due date's rent, so at least there is some progress and now they are only one week behind instead of one month.

mrsconn23 · November 2020

Oh no @VarunaTT. I'm so sorry for your friend. Yay for K's stuff being gone.

Our weekend was good. We went to BIL/SIL's for Thanksgiving. We had a ton of downtime to just chill and enjoy family. FIL was there too. My nieces are so fun. My younger niece has had a few dumb teenager things come up in the recent past. She and I had a good aunt/niece chat about it. I shared some of my more tame 'I was an asshole teenager' stories, LOL.

My dad is into buying all.the.presents for the grandkids this year. It's so sweet and also makes me a little weepy thinking about it all too much. My sisters helped him decorate his tree this weekend. The holidays coming up are bringing up all the feels.

A little tired today. Work is work.

short+sassy · November 2020

CharmedPam said:

Isn’t that the truth @ILoveBeachMusic? I know someone who doesn’t dine out, go anywhere and if she does - with a mask always. Very cautious. But she had to take her husband to the doctors/hospital or whatever to get some tests done for something else and they both got it . I hope those people in your life recover quickly

I loved that you called those tenants out @short+sassy!

I actually didn't call them out, to their face. It's always tempting, but serves no purpose other than to make people defensive and angry. It's the little game she and I play during the various rent crises she's had in the years she has been my tenant. She will tell me some bs story. I pretend to believe her and give her "helpful" advice that passive-aggressively lets her know I'm not as clueless as she seems to think I am, though I'm not sure if she picks up on that.

Her last major crisis was Dec. 2019. She claimed someone had fraudulently accessed her bank account and taken all the money. She said her bank told her it would be 4-6 weeks before the money was returned. She even sent a bank letter as "proof", but 95% of the letter was cut-off, lmao. Ding-ding-ding. From the tiny amount I could read, it sounded more like a generic warning that her account may have been compromised and to keep an eye on it. I told her the picture didn't include the meat of the letter. But the good news was, although her bank was probably trying to be "cautious" with their 4-6 week timeline, it's been my experience that banks and credit card companies handle fraudulent claims in just a few business days, so she shouldn't be waiting long at all to get her money and to please keep me updated. She pulled this exact same excuse in Dec. of 2018, just without sending me the bank letter. Because presents > rent.

Then, during the federal moratorium that happened a few years ago, she jumped on that bandwagon that her daughter didn't get paid because of it, so that is why they were going to have trouble paying. I gave her the names of two charities that help with rent and a bank that was giving easy to qualify, low-interest loans to help Federal employees in the interim. I didn't say this part, but thought it, "However, it's probably going to be really hard for your daughter to qualify, since she isn't a Federal employee. She works for the Parish, so obviously her paychecks are fine. And it's insulting you think I am so stupid I don't know the difference between different levels of government."

banana468 · November 2020

Oh @short+sassy I have felt so much sympathy for those who have been truly affected by all of this in the last 7 + months. The reality for so many has been that for many, the jobs just aren't there. I'm grateful that my brother's employer re-opened and his furlough was temporary in the spring. Many aren't as lucky and it's not so easy to get another job especially depending on where you live. Out of work theater actor in NYC? Yeah - good luck.

That said, this is a pattern of behavior for your tenant. And there are few things that are more infuriating than a person jumping on the bandwagon of "me too" when the nonpayment has nothing to do with the reasons cited.

Casadena · November 2020

@VarunaTT i'm so sorry about your friends dad - yay for K's stuff being gone.

Thanksgiving was nice - we were at IL's for 4 nights. That's a LOT of IL time, but it was super nice to essentially have 4 day break from being in charge of a very rambunctious almost one year old. Yesterday SIL/BIL came over to watch the football game and helped us move some of the bedroom set into our house. We're so excited to have real furniture in our bedroom!

My glasses also broke last week and I dont' wear contacts, so I have an eye appointment with a new doc on Wed since my regular one can't see me til the 18th. I've been getting horrible headaches with this pregnancy and definitely need my glasses!

Back at work today is rough - I was off all week last week.

short+sassy · November 2020

banana468 said:

Oh @short+sassy I have felt so much sympathy for those who have been truly affected by all of this in the last 7 + months. The reality for so many has been that for many, the jobs just aren't there. I'm grateful that my brother's employer re-opened and his furlough was temporary in the spring. Many aren't as lucky and it's not so easy to get another job especially depending on where you live. Out of work theater actor in NYC? Yeah - good luck.

That said, this is a pattern of behavior for your tenant. And there are few things that are more infuriating than a person jumping on the bandwagon of "me too" when the nonpayment has nothing to do with the reasons cited.

Totally agree! It's a tough see-saw because people who need it should be helped, but then there are always going to be people who take advantage also and won't lift a finger to help themselves. And that is not as small a percentage of people as you would hope it is. I'm not just talking about rent, but that is what I know the most about. My real estate investing forum abounds with stories of tenants who didn't lose their jobs. Or lost their jobs but were making more money when the extra $600/week was being paid. But still didn't pay one cent of their rent because evictions courts were closed and/or the state didn't allow evictions for months on end.

While I agree with the theory that people shouldn't be evicted during these times for legitimate money issues and not being able to find work, but that should be the government's job. Instead, because over 80% of the rental owners out there are "little guys" like me who don't have lobbyists, we've been the ones that have had this problem forced down our throats.

Landlords were really left out to dry by the government and it has sickened me to such an extent that I don't even think I want to acquire more properties. I personally wasn't even that affected, other than one tenant who moved out in July because they supposedly lost their job. At least they left without forcing me to "support them", until I could get an eviction hearing. But it's alarming how screwed over I could have been because the laws to protect me were arbitrarily taken away so easily.

So now let's talk about the long-term effects this can have. Over the last 5 years, I personally have bought 5 dilapidated duplexes, fixed them up, and brought 10 rental units back to market. And that's just one person in one city. But I'm not going to do that anymore because of what the government has done in this crisis. And I'm not the only one. As people pull out of this line of investment, rents will go up at an even higher rates. For more irony? The places that have the worst and most unfair landlord/tenant laws for landlords, are the places that have the highest rents. This is ALREADY one of the reasons rents are so high in NYC, San Fran., Seattle, Boston, Portland, etc.

levioosa · November 2020

@VarunaTT I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad K’s things are all out of the apartment.

This weekend was pretty nice for the most part. Thanksgiving was very relaxed although I still cooked a full dinner. It was just the four of us and we had a really nice night. Saturday got a little stressful when other FSIL (the one I don’t really get along with) stopped by unexpectedly with her BF. I looked an unkempt ungodly mess, and I was not in the mood for shenanigans. She has been trying to force her BF to meet FI for months now, to the point where apparently she is just stopping by randomly. She even asked if they could go into the backyard to look at it. I was so non-plussed at how bold she was that I couldn’t think of anything snarky to say besides “no, FI isn’t home and you can’t go in the backyard. Did you call FI to let him know you were coming? No? Well he’s not home.” I’m still annoyed.

Other than that it’s back to the grind this week. I’ve hiked the past two days and plan to tonight as well. My legs are a little sore but I’m glad to be getting back to a routine.

banana468 · November 2020

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

Oh @short+sassy I have felt so much sympathy for those who have been truly affected by all of this in the last 7 + months. The reality for so many has been that for many, the jobs just aren't there. I'm grateful that my brother's employer re-opened and his furlough was temporary in the spring. Many aren't as lucky and it's not so easy to get another job especially depending on where you live. Out of work theater actor in NYC? Yeah - good luck.

That said, this is a pattern of behavior for your tenant. And there are few things that are more infuriating than a person jumping on the bandwagon of "me too" when the nonpayment has nothing to do with the reasons cited.

Totally agree! It's a tough see-saw because people who need it should be helped, but then there are always going to be people who take advantage also and won't lift a finger to help themselves. And that is not as small a percentage of people as you would hope it is. I'm not just talking about rent, but that is what I know the most about. My real estate investing forum abounds with stories of tenants who didn't lose their jobs. Or lost their jobs but were making more money when the extra $600/week was being paid. But still didn't pay one cent of their rent because evictions courts were closed and/or the state didn't allow evictions for months on end.

While I agree with the theory that people shouldn't be evicted during these times for legitimate money issues and not being able to find work, but that should be the government's job. Instead, because over 80% of the rental owners out there are "little guys" like me who don't have lobbyists, we've been the ones that have had this problem forced down our throats.

Landlords were really left out to dry by the government and it has sickened me to such an extent that I don't even think I want to acquire more properties. I personally wasn't even that affected, other than one tenant who moved out in July because they supposedly lost their job. At least they left without forcing me to "support them", until I could get an eviction hearing. But it's alarming how screwed over I could have been because the laws to protect me were arbitrarily taken away so easily.

So now let's talk about the long-term effects this can have. Over the last 5 years, I personally have bought 5 dilapidated duplexes, fixed them up, and brought 10 rental units back to market. And that's just one person in one city. But I'm not going to do that anymore because of what the government has done in this crisis. And I'm not the only one. As people pull out of this line of investment, rents will go up at an even higher rates. For more irony? The places that have the worst and most unfair landlord/tenant laws for landlords, are the places that have the highest rents. This is ALREADY one of the reasons rents are so high in NYC, San Fran., Seattle, Boston, Portland, etc.

If there is anything that I have disliked in some of the remedies proposed during the pandemic it's how incomplete they are.

Of COURSE any independently owned business not deemed as essential is going to fight to stay open and fight to make money when the government forces them to shut down with ZERO financial stimulus.

And do people think that most landlords are like the Trump/Kushners who live in mega mansions or are they really mostly like the @short+sassy group who have ZERO financial stimulus to help them? We're lucky that our tenant has not pushed us and has remained employed but our mortgage company has not mentioned anything to us about defraying THOSE payments if we were ever to be in that situation.

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