Wedding Woes
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"This is not up for discussion." and walk away.

Dear Prudence,

I can’t get my co-workers, friends, and roommates to stop commenting on my body and eating habits. I have ADHD and take a stimulant medication, which I need to function at work. It suppresses my appetite during the day, so I usually have just a snack around lunchtime and eat a larger dinner and more snacks in the evening. My co-workers have noticed I don’t really eat lunch and have said multiple times that I need to eat, that I’m not eating enough, etc. I know these comments come from a place of genuine concern, but I’ve told them that my medication is an appetite suppressant and I eat more in the evenings, yet they won’t stop. Also because I have ADHD, my executive functioning skills aren’t great, and it’s often difficult for me to organize myself in the evenings; I tend to eat raw fruits and vegetables or cold pasta or rice dishes, so my roommates don’t see me cooking very often. I’ve explained multiple times that I eat enough, that I eat healthy foods, that they don’t need to worry about my eating habits, but again these comments don’t stop. I have a thin build, like my other relatives, and people often say I just need to eat more. All of this makes me feel self-conscious and embarrassed. I just want it to stop.

—Eating Later

Re: "This is not up for discussion." and walk away.

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    "I appreciate the concern but I can assure you that I do eat. " 

    It is so hard because after seeing people battle an eating disorder I can also sympathize with the people who may have an honest concern about the LW. 

    It may help if the LW engages with a trusted person or two so she can advise them that she's truly eating, is on a medication and is not suffering from an eating disorder. 
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    “Where did you do your residency after med school? Oh, you’re not my doctor; great then please stop commenting on my health”. 
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    I wonder if the LW has been more blunt yet.  Like, "Please stop commenting on my eating.  It's completely inappropriate and makes me very uncomfortable.  My doctor has no issues with my weight or eating habits and neither do I."

    "Makes me very uncomfortable" is the implied warning shot and a "notice" to her coworkers.  Any further comments about the LW's weight or eating should be reported to HR.  Or the LW can flat out say that.

    The LW should say something similar to their roommates and that it is a closed subject.  Unfortunately, the only potential consequence with the roommates is a threat to move-out if the LW feels it is that bad.

    I had a former coworker whose parents organized an "intervention" for her when she was in high school because they thought she had an ED.  Although she ate plenty of food, she was extremely thin.  Her parents and friends assumed she was throwing up after eating (even though no one had witnessed that).  She was really upset after the intervention, especially because she wasn't doing anything but no one believed her.  She didn't know why she was so thin and couldn't gain weight.

    She got her answer a couple years after that.  She was finally diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.  She said it was such a relief to point to a medical problem and get people off her back.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    This really enrages me. People are so brazen and have no boundaries about other people's eating habits and body size. I agree with the coworkers that there needs to be a firm warning and then report to HR if it continues. Even if she was ill or had an eating disorder, nagging coworkers and roommates are not going to help. 
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