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Postponing again... wording advice ?

littleluckymelittleluckyme member
First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Like so many others Hubby and I had to postpone our 2020 wedding (abroad in France where Hubby is from) due to the pandemic. We sent postponement cards with our new date Aug 2021. However, we just found out we're expecting! Of course we are over the moon excited (and surprised!) but as we're due in September 2021 we have to postpone again...

We plan to send the announcement we're expecting along with a second postponement card and we're looking for advice on wording for the postponement. We want to keep it short and simple but lighthearted. We also think it's best not to set a new date at this time (because of baby but also the ongoing uncertainty of the current situation)
We decided we will announce both together. We want to send cards by mail to all our guests but will tell close family and friends in person.

We were thinking of something like this for the postponement:
SPECIAL GUEST (our plus one)
Surprise! We're expecting... Our wedding scheduled for Aug 2021 will be changed to a future date. We will be in touch when we make new plans.

And we'll send an announcement along with the postponement card stating we're expecting and our due date.

Any input appreciated! Smiley smile
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Re: Postponing again... wording advice ?

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    maine7mobmaine7mob member
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    I would not do this. You generally do not announce you are expecting this way. You do it after the baby is born, in which case it is a birth announcement. The reason, of course, is that anything could happen. So what you want is to announce that "Due to unforeseen circumstances, we've had to postpone our wedding again. As soon as we have a new date, we will be in touch" or something like that.

    Then, after the baby is born, you can send birth announcements. People will figure out why you postponed if they don't already know.

    When your wedding plans are solid (after the plague is over!), you can send out actual invitations.
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    littleluckymelittleluckyme member
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    edited January 2021
    @maine7mob
    Some people do birth announcements yes, but most people announce their expecting, it happens all the time! Granted usually it's via Facebook these days, but seeing as the reason we're postponing is because we're expecting we think it's best we send the news together to be completely upfront and honest with our guests and loved ones.

    We do plan to tell close family and friends in person and we would have announced we're expecting likely on Facebook or other means regardless, but it feels more intimate to send an announcement card as we have to send postponements again anyway. 

    I'm shocked you haven't known anyone to announce their expecting. It's very common ! *Typically this happens after 13 weeks. ;)

    Thanks anyway ! 
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    littleluckyme said:
    @maine7mob
    Some people do birth announcements yes, but most people announce their expecting, it happens all the time! Granted usually it's via Facebook these days, but seeing as the reason we're postponing is because we're expecting we think it's best we send the news together to be completely upfront and honest with our guests and loved ones.

    We do plan to tell close family and friends in person and we would have announced we're expecting likely on Facebook or other means regardless, but it feels more intimate to send an announcement card as we have to send postponements again anyway. 

    I'm shocked you haven't known anyone to announce their expecting. It's very common ! *Typically this happens after 13 weeks. ;)

    Thanks anyway ! 
    I've also never heard of anyone sending out a pregnancy announcement. Are you sure you've seen this before, or are you confusing formal announcements with social media? At the very least, it seems like tempting fate. 

    I would go with "the wedding of X and Y will not take place as planned" and leave it there. While it would be nice to say you'll reach out to reschedule, doing that obligates you to extend a new invitation to the entire guest list. By the time you have a baby and we get to the other end of the pandemic, it's entirely possible that you may want to change plans to something smaller. It's better not to tie yourself to anything if you can help it. 
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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    I agree, I've never seen a written pregnancy announcement, and I have plenty of friends/children of friends who have had babies recently including my own daughter. Just send a postponement card as PPs have stated. Announce your pregnancy on FB or whatever social media you choose. Of course, family/word of mouth will spread the news also.
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    While I’ve never seen anyone send formal pregnancy announcements (for many of the reasons ppl have already said) I guess I don’t see the difference if you’re announcing it on Instagram/ Facebook except that you can go back and delete on social media if you ever need to. I personally wouldn’t do it but I don’t think it’s wrong etiquette wise. 

    I do agree with @mynameisnot in that you may not want to say you’ll be in touch with update plans, your plans may change significantly in the number of people, location, etc when we’re on the other side of this and you want to give yourself that flexibility. 
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    banana468banana468 member
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    I've never heard of sending pregnancy announcements (and I married into a very prolific family!) but I think what you can do is state that the wedding is postponed and should you want to announce the pregnancy you can.  The concern with announcing is that should anything truly unfortunate take place you're then also faced with announcing something tragic and that's often reasons that a couple chooses to keep a pregnancy as information kept close.  I don't think there's anything wrong with announcing in and of itself but it is something to consider.

    If I were you I'd treat them separately because then by doing so, you have the opportunity to completely revamp your guest list entirely and just say, "The wedding will not take place as planned."  

    Then you can evaluate how you want to celebrate once you are parents.  FWIW, the newborn phase for both of my kids took a lot out of me.  I didn't want to wear pants with buttons and I SURELY did not want to plan a big event until well over a year after the kids were born and I was getting some semblance of regular sleep. 
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    banana468 said:
    I've never heard of sending pregnancy announcements (and I married into a very prolific family!) but I think what you can do is state that the wedding is postponed and should you want to announce the pregnancy you can.  The concern with announcing is that should anything truly unfortunate take place you're then also faced with announcing something tragic and that's often reasons that a couple chooses to keep a pregnancy as information kept close.  I don't think there's anything wrong with announcing in and of itself but it is something to consider.

    If I were you I'd treat them separately because then by doing so, you have the opportunity to completely revamp your guest list entirely and just say, "The wedding will not take place as planned."  

    Then you can evaluate how you want to celebrate once you are parents.  FWIW, the newborn phase for both of my kids took a lot out of me.  I didn't want to wear pants with buttons and I SURELY did not want to plan a big event until well over a year after the kids were born and I was getting some semblance of regular sleep. 
    This is the truest of true. 

    - a parent of a 5 month old who isn’t sleeping through the night. 
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    As others mentioned - Unless people were sent cards with the official wedding date in 2021, you do not need to send anything... 

    Also, While a "There's going to be a whole lot more to celebrate!" would be fun, there's a lot that can happen between now and baby's arrival (appointments, bed rest, multiples, early delivery, late delivery, delivery complications, perfect delivery in every way = there's still a LOT of recovery to be done!, etc.).  Plus, like others mentioned, the last thing I wanted to be doing but had to do was event planning (Baptisms) after my kids were born.  I literally walked in to my second's and was snarled at because I was late (guess who blew out his diaper from head to toe and was scream-fest hungry before needing to leave for church - yep - MY KID!)
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited January 2021
    I agree with PPs about limiting any communications regarding your postponed wedding to just your wedding for now and not "announcing" your pregnancy in it.

    Congratulations on your new pregnancy! Like PPs, I've never seen any kind of "pregnancy announcement" - only a birth. I think that deserves its own separate announcement after the baby is born, for the reasons PPs have given: anything could happen and you may well not be up to any kind of event planning or even big communications between now and then.
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    knottie23ef5e4036a74e92knottie23ef5e4036a74e92 member
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    When your wedding plans are solid (after the plague is over!), you can send out actual invitations.
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