Can't you silence the chat?

Re: Can't you silence the chat?

• charlotte989875 member

  

  February 2021

  Is he lording it over you, or is he genuinely excited and doesn’t understand that you have a problem with this? 

  
  

  Honestly this sounds like an LW problem, not a How problem. He can buy a house wherever he wants & as long as he didn’t lie about his qualifications he took advantage of a program that was open to him. 

  
  

  It sounds like LW is going to find fault with everything Joe is doing here. If that’s the case silence the chat and figure out why all of this bugs you so much. 

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  February 2021

  Maybe start by getting over yourself? You clearly think your way = correct way and Joe’s way = demon’s path. The world is more complex than that. 

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• banana468 member

  

  February 2021

  STARMOON44 said:

  Maybe start by getting over yourself? You clearly think your way = correct way and Joe’s way = demon’s path. The world is more complex than that. 

  All of the above! 
  
  LW needs a therapist to work on their resentment.  I'm getting the vibes of "I want to college and am taking on this job that is supposed to be making me feel emotionally fulfilled but I'm broke and my brother went into the trades and makes more money than me and he is thriving financially which pisses me off." 
  
  Your brother's financial success is not to deliberately piss you off and if you don't see that then you're probably never going to have a good feeling. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  February 2021

  I also think this sounds more like the brother is excited about the house and the projects he is doing on it and the LW needs to get off their high horse and get over it.
  
  Re: the program he got help with.  If the LW knows he lied on the application, and not just lied but probably would have had to falsify documents also, then I would give them a pass to make one comment that they don't want to hear about the house anymore because they are uncomfortable that the help he got was done fraudulently.
  
  But I would bet dollars to doughnuts that he qualified.  I looked into some when I was buying my first house and, if a program was income-based, they certainly do NOT just take your word for something you wrote in on an application and signed.  There is a mountain of qualifications, paperwork, and "proof"...usually including tax returns and paycheck stubs...that needs to be provided. 
  
  Now I'm reading into the letter a bit.  It specifically talks about the "city center" and that he is doing a lot of projects.  My guess is the program he is in, was only for specific geographic areas of the city.  And probably areas that have blight.  Some first-time home buyer programs are like this because it's a win-win.  It helps economically disadvantaged first-time home buyers while also populating less desirable parts of the city.

  

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• Casadena member

  

  February 2021

  I'm glad you all had the same reaction I did.  I think LW needs to get over themselves.  Joe didn't lie to buy a house, he's not doing anything wrong.  

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• banana468 member

  

  February 2021

  short+sassy said:

  I also think this sounds more like the brother is excited about the house and the projects he is doing on it and the LW needs to get off their high horse and get over it.
  
  Re: the program he got help with.  If the LW knows he lied on the application, and not just lied but probably would have had to falsify documents also, then I would give them a pass to make one comment that they don't want to hear about the house anymore because they are uncomfortable that the help he got was done fraudulently.
  
  But I would bet dollars to doughnuts that he qualified.  I looked into some when I was buying my first house and, if a program was income-based, they certainly do NOT just take your word for something you wrote in on an application and signed.  There is a mountain of qualifications, paperwork, and "proof"...usually including tax returns and paycheck stubs...that needs to be provided. 
  
  Now I'm reading into the letter a bit.  It specifically talks about the "city center" and that he is doing a lot of projects.  My guess is the program he is in, was only for specific geographic areas of the city.  And probably areas that have blight.  Some first-time home buyer programs are like this because it's a win-win.  It helps economically disadvantaged first-time home buyers while also populating less desirable parts of the city.

  Right.  I think the LW can make some interesting talking points about what gentrification can do to low income areas and those points have merit.  However the brush that is being used to paint the brother has been dipped in some seriously vitriolic paint.     
  
  
  

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• mrsconn23 member

  

  February 2021 edited February 2021

  Ugh.  Is gentrification an issue?  Sure.
  
  Is there discrimination when it comes to housing? You betcha.
  
  While we should be more environmentally focused and forward thinking, do we still need people working in oil and gas (coal or insert-evil-industry here) and we don't want to pay $20/gallon andplusalso those people need to live and pay bills?  YES! 
  
  I don't think Joe kicked puppies and poor people out of housing.  I also think he's not 'lording' it over LW.  Furthermore, those government-backed housing programs are a bitch of red tape and paperwork.  So Joe would have had to really put some effort into circumventing and covering his tracks to get approved for this. 
  
  There's nothing LW has explained in their short letter that says Joe is 'the worst' or somehow doing this 'at' LW.  Being all butthurt about this to claim some sort of moral high ground makes you the asshole. 

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• downtondiva member

  

  February 2021

  While I agree that gentrification and environmentalism are serious issues, I can't help thinking this has more to do with LW's resentment that their younger brother was able to buy a house before they were than anything else. I can understand why that would be hard, but LW can't let this bother them so much. They don't have to answer every single text, and maybe they could respond from time to time with a casual "That's nice" and then talk about what's going on with them.  

  
  

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