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MOH woes

xohollyxoholly member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in Wedding Party
My sister has elected me, including 2 of her best friends to be MOH. To be honest I am hurt over it. Now, she wants us all to give speeches. Is this customary? Am I overreacting?
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Re: MOH woes

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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    xoholly said:
    My sister has elected me, including 2 of her best friends to be MOH. To be honest I am hurt over it. Now, she wants us all to give speeches. Is this customary? Am I overreacting?
    I've attended a few weddings with 2 MOHs. I haven't seen 3 before. Which of course doesn't mean it doesn't happen. 

    Are you and your sister close? I can understand being hurt. Let yourself feel those feelings, and then move on. She did ask you to be MOH, albeit with her best friends. But she's still honoring your relationship. 
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    xohollyxoholly member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Yes, we are close. At first I was like 3 MOH's?? Who does that? However, now I see it's more of a norm than when I got married 10 years ago.

    I don't understand why there needs to be more than 1 speech from us. I don't want to rock the boat with her so I'm just going to go with it at this point.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    xoholly said:
    Yes, we are close. At first I was like 3 MOH's?? Who does that? However, now I see it's more of a norm than when I got married 10 years ago.

    I don't understand why there needs to be more than 1 speech from us. I don't want to rock the boat with her so I'm just going to go with it at this point.
    That's probably your safest course of action. But yes, brides now sometimes do have multiple honor attendants. I also would prefer to hear fewer speeches, but that's not your call or mine.
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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I had two MOH's. They coordinated on the toasting. My sister did the reception and my friend did one at the rehearsal dinner, which is where we had it open for anyone to toast who wanted to. If neither of them had wanted to give a toast, that would have been fine (but my sister was a high school senior who was ranked in the state in speech at that point, so... she wanted to).

    Maybe you and the other MOHs can talk. And then come back to her and say that you talked, and that you are worried that three toasts will run long, so two of you are happy to do some at the RD, or not at all. If she still insists you all give one at the reception, I'd come back and say that "Okay, but they're going to be true toasts, i.e. no more than a minute each."
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think you're overreacting. 

    She's trying to treat you and her two closest friends as equals.  I think that should be commended rather than the hierarchy we often see discussed with bridal parties. 
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    xohollyxoholly member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    That sounds like a great idea.Thank you so much for your advice!
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    xohollyxoholly member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    flantastic said:
    I had two MOH's. They coordinated on the toasting. My sister did the reception and my friend did one at the rehearsal dinner, which is where we had it open for anyone to toast who wanted to. If neither of them had wanted to give a toast, that would have been fine (but my sister was a high school senior who was ranked in the state in speech at that point, so... she wanted to).

    Maybe you and the other MOHs can talk. And then come back to her and say that you talked, and that you are worried that three toasts will run long, so two of you are happy to do some at the RD, or not at all. If she still insists you all give one at the reception, I'd come back and say that "Okay, but they're going to be true toasts, i.e. no more than a minute each."

    That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much for your advice!
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    "Brevity is the marker of a great speech!" You control your aspect of the MOH speeches, make yours sweet yet short and bonus if you go first to set the tone...
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