Dear Prudence,I’m a trans woman. I started hormones about a year and a half ago. When my partner and I got together, we both identified as men, but she recently came out as a trans woman, too. She started hormone replacement therapy a few months ago. I’m so happy for her and overjoyed that we can share this experience. But even though I try not to compare us, I can’t help but feel jealous of her transition. After all this time, I’ve experienced what feel like minimal changes and haven’t met any goals. I don’t pass, and I may never pass. But in just a few months, my girlfriend is flying past milestones that are still so out of my reach. I’ve experienced every unpleasant side effect, while it seems like she hasn’t had any. I know everyone has individual responses to HRT, and that none of this is her fault, but I can’t shake my sadness and envy. Any tips on how to support her without seeing “what could have been”?
—Not a Race, but She’s Ahead