Wedding Party

Update

Update: This is ridiculous. My sister and I were at lunch today and she was talking about the wedding party and apparently, she is having a Matron of Honor (her best friend) and Maid of Honor (Me). All that crying and drama was for nothing. I feel so silly. As, I said before, my sister and I are really close (we talk everyday, have dinner together every weekend etc.) I couldn't do or say anything that would ruin her experience because this is her first wedding and I wanted her to be happy. I still never told her how upset I was with that little misunderstanding. I think she would laugh but still. I even feel embarrassed to post this here. I'm so glad I didn't say anything to her!

Re: Update

  • You are totally entitled to feel how you feel. You obviously know she can pick whom she wants as her MOH. I'm sorry that you are so disappointed. Hopefully you will feel differently - or maybe not -when you get married. Wedding parties don't have to be tit for tat. Just be a wonderful sister and wedding guest. I know you just wanted to vent here.  
  • That sucks- I’m sorry you’re hurt. For what it’s worth I think you’re handling it well. 

    I’d say wait a while before you make a decision about your wedding party; you might feel differently in a few weeks- still hurt but maybe it won’t sting so much. 
  • I feel like I am being overly dramatic and I know I will get over it, but my sister just picked her best friend to be her MOH and I've been crying for 4 freaking hours. I could never tell her how much it crushed me because I would never want to do anything to make her feel bad about her decision. I understand that she has the right to pick who she wants. It just makes me feel so rejected. My sister and I are really close and I never even gave it a second thought that she would be my MOH when I get married but now it feels weird. I don't think I'll have one. 
    It is absolutely better to vent here and lift that burden off your chest. 
    Is it possible she had reasons not considered?  Do you know your sister's expectations when it comes to her wedding party? 
    Some brides think their wedding party is obligated to host multiple events in the bride's honor.  If that is her mindset, perhaps she worries you don't have the time or finances to do so.  Some brides don't want any fuss made over them.  Would your sister be of that mindset and worry you would feel compelled to give her "the full bride experience"?
    My point is that there are a multitude of rhymes and reasons brides make their selections.  Some may have a foundation while others may appear random. 
    She has made her decision.  Try not to delve too deeply into her thought process.  If/when you marry, make the choice the works best for you.  Try hard not to factor this moment into it.
  • edited March 2021
  • Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my venting! I am not "over it" but I'll be fine. I love my sister more than anything and I just want her to be happy on her wedding day. It isn't like she doesn't want me involved, she just didn't pick me as her MOH. My sister is 22 years older than me, so we have much more of a mother/daughter relationship, than a typical sister relationship. It felt like your mom telling you that she loves one of your siblings more than you. Her bestie has been there for her though a lot, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. It makes since that she picked her, I sort of had that epiphany last night. 

    A lot of it has to do with my own personal insecurities. I turned it into a whole, why doesn't anyone pick me?!? Pity party. I know it's not like that. I'm going to be a great bridesmaid, wear my ugly, I mean pretty, blue dress and have fun! I have a lot more to be thankful for than I have to complain about, especially in the midst of this pandemic. 

    I'm definitely not going to worry about this when it's time to plan my wedding, or maybe I'll just elope🤷🏻‍♀️.
    Glad you were able to get better perspective on this given a little time. Definitely don't let this cloud your relationship with your sister, it is one day in your entire lifetime. It is a special day for sure but it is not the end all, be all of special days.
  • I also wanted to chime in that you are handling it really well and glad you came on here to vent and "get it off your chest".  It's okay to be disappointed, your feelings are your feelings.  But it wouldn't be okay to say something to your sister and I know that's hard.  I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but choosing her BFF to be the MOH is not a reflection on you or on your relationship with your sister.

    FWIW, my own sister and I each only had one person in our bridal party.  She chose her BFF over me also.  It's a little different from your situation in that she is clearly closer to her friends then she is to me and that's okay.  I got married three years later, but still chose my sister to be my MOH.  Because I'm about as close to my friends as I am to my sister, so it just made the most sense for me to ask her.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards