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To Prenup or not?

knottie28840021999fba4dknottie28840021999fba4d newb
in Wedding Woes
Hi all--

I'm recently engaged and my partner and I would like to get a prenup as we view it as a financial step in us merging our lives together.

Are you considering/have gotten a prenup? How much did it cost? Why did you decide to get one? How did you find a lawyer or did you draft one independently?

SB
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Re: To Prenup or not?

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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    1.  I don't have one, because we didn't have 2 nickels to rub together when we got married.  I was actually the breadwinner and had a house at the time, but we really had no other assets to speak of. 

    2. I think that would depend on where you live

    3. I'm not sure I'd DIY a prenup.  I'd at least have a consultation with a lawyer regarding what goes into a prenup and how complicated it can get to protect both of you.  
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    kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    We have one. H sprung it on me about a month or two before our wedding (dont recommend that approach). I think it was around $1000 for each side, though a lot of that was fixing the nonsense his side put in the doc (and fixing a litany of grammatical errors and typos....ugh).  In hindsight I'm very glad we have one and if I were to get married again I'd get one for sure
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    knottie28840021999fba4d said:
    Hi all--

    I'm recently engaged and my partner and I would like to get a prenup as we view it as a financial step in us merging our lives together.

    Are you considering/have gotten a prenup? How much did it cost? Why did you decide to get one? How did you find a lawyer or did you draft one independently?

    SB
    We don’t have a prenup (because we got married right out of grad school and neither of us had significant assets). If either of you have property, accounts, trusts, or anything else going in you want to keep separate then a prenup is a good idea. 

    More important that prenup or not is the conversations you two have around money. You need to talk about how you’re going to handle finances (combined, separate, some of both) and money that you’re both bringing in to the marriage. A prenup is the end result of these conversations. 
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We don't have a prenup because we were already joint on an asset - but we had a discussion about a few things instead.

    The conversations have changed since having our daughter, but still same basic idea.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    We don't have a pre-nup. We did buy property together several years before we got married, and we did have a contract drawn up to manage our rights and duties there. By the time we got married, that property was our only real asset and debt, so a it wasn't necessary.

    Costs vary by location, but the law firm that I used to work for did simple ones for about $1000 (although each side needs a lawyer, so that would be $1000 each). It was the same price we charged for uncontested divorce, FWIW. 

    I wouldn't consider trying to do one without a lawyer. There is still some bias against pre-nup enforcement in the law. You're much more likely to check all the boxes to ensure it is enforceable if you have a knowledgeable attorney drawing it up. 
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    charlotte989875 said:
    knottie28840021999fba4d said:
    Hi all--

    I'm recently engaged and my partner and I would like to get a prenup as we view it as a financial step in us merging our lives together.

    Are you considering/have gotten a prenup? How much did it cost? Why did you decide to get one? How did you find a lawyer or did you draft one independently?

    SB
    We don’t have a prenup (because we got married right out of grad school and neither of us had significant assets). If either of you have property, accounts, trusts, or anything else going in you want to keep separate then a prenup is a good idea. 

    More important that prenup or not is the conversations you two have around money. You need to talk about how you’re going to handle finances (combined, separate, some of both) and money that you’re both bringing in to the marriage. A prenup is the end result of these conversations. 
    Yes!  This is another advantage that is a more positive way to look at it.  In addition, while a "what would happen if we divorced" is not the romantic conversation to have with someone you are about to marry, it can make that terrible event if it happens easier.  I have a friend whose FI wanted her to get a prenup.  He was a high 6-figure earner and she was not.  She balked and said that was a dealbreaker, so they got married without one.

    Their marriage lasted 6 months.  But the legal battles involved with the divorce were much longer than that and all her lawyer's fees financially devastated her.  She just wanted to walk away.  She wasn't fighting to get his money.  There were a few issues, but the main one was he wanted her to pay half of his total income tax.   

    She said not agreeing to a prenup was one of the worst mistakes she ever made.  Other than marrying him to begin with, of course!  Because a prenup would have protected both of them and have already clearly defined what would happen in the event of a divorce.  It would have made their divorce much faster, easier, and cheaper. 

    A prenup is practical and no one knows what the future holds.  If you all decide to get one, definitely hire an attorney.  It's an important enough document that you want to make sure it is legally correct.  
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You two have to decide what is the best for you, but also check your state's laws as they can be rather specific in regards to nullification of prenups after a certain point in the marriage.  

    Asset protection is the big one if you've got sizable assets in regards to personal or professional business.  
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