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Reception only save the dates?

stedmonandlindsaystedmonandlindsay member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I are having an intimate wedding ceremony with just our families (parents, grandparents, and siblings only). That evening we will be having a large reception to celebrate and we're planning on inviting around 200 people. Do we need to send out save the dates for the reception only? If so, should I specify on the save the date that it is for the reception only?

If you do not have an answer to my question please do not comment on my post with your opinions! (:

Thank you!
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Re: Reception only save the dates?

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    stedmonandlindsaystedmonandlindsay member
    First Comment
    Edited to add: If we do send out save the dates, I will be using Paperless Post to send them electronically. 
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    geebee908geebee908 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    stedmonandlindsay said:
    My fiance and I are having an intimate wedding ceremony with just our families (parents, grandparents, and siblings only). That evening we will be having a large reception to celebrate and we're planning on inviting around 200 people. Do we need to send out save the dates for the reception only? If so, should I specify on the save the date that it is for the reception only?

    If you do not have an answer to my question please do not comment on my post with your opinions! (:

    Thank you!
    Is there a reason for the immediate family only ceremony? This is something you'll be asked by the some in the large crowd you're not inviting to the ceremony, so it's good if you can answer that with a reasonable explanation.

    It is hard to word such an invitation because you're asking people to celebrate your wedding ceremony that none but your immediate family got to actually witness. The expectation is that when you're invited to a wedding, you're invited to the whole shebang.
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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Agree with PP, people will wonder why they aren't invited to the ceremony - which is the most important part of the day. That being said they aren't being invited to a reception but a party. A reception is to thank your guests for witnessing your ceremony. These people won't be witnessing your ceremony. I am assuming your ceremony is earlier in the day and you will be having something (lunch or brunch) with your immediate family so that will be your reception. Technically you don't normally send save the dates for a party, heck you don't have to send them for a wedding. I would just send out invitations 6-8 weeks in advance of the party inviting people to the party to celebrate the marriage of you and your H. Make sure people know they will not be attending a wedding but a party. You do this by asking them to attend a party to celebrate the marriage NOT the ceremony. BTW, when posting in a forum you can't tell people how to respond to your post. 
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't send save the dates for a marriage celebration party. Normally, you'd just do save the dates for your VIPs to be sure they have extra notice. It sounds like your VIPs will be at actual wedding. 

    I would probably circulate the plan informally by word of mouth, but I wouldn't send anything formal. 
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Lol at telling people not to share their opinions. Meanwhile, you posted this on the Etiquette board, so you're going to get feedback if what you're doing is not following the proper etiquette. 

    Be prepared to answer a lot of questions form your guests about what is happening with the ceremony. 
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Technically what you're doing is fine from an etiquette standpoint as far as the events.  If you're TRULY having an intimate ceremony it's fine to have the big party later. 

    You'd phrase this as PP stated as an invitation to a party.  It isn't a reception because the reception will be immediately after your ceremony for those immediate family members.  You're having a party that isn't a wedding reception.  It can celebrate the wedding that took place earlier but is a bit different because of how you're choosing to host the ceremony. 

    Save the dates aren't required ever and in this situation they could be confusing.  I'd spread that info via word of mouth that it's a party only and send the invitations 6-8 weeks in advance.
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    MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Skip the Save the Dates to your Celebration of Marriage party and only send the actual invitations...  Your VIP's are already invited to the actual wedding earlier in the day so not necessary to notify them about the date..
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I don't think you need save-the-dates at all. I would just send invitations to a "wedding celebration." Don't use the word "reception," because as PPs note, that's only appropriate for an occasion that follows the actual wedding. 
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    knottie9619bf9f32bce5fdknottie9619bf9f32bce5fd member
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    I agree with a lot of others here - no need to have a 'save the date' sent out for a reception, just send invites. I like Jen's idea of not calling it a reception because that enforces the idea that there's a ceremony they're not invited to. Stick to "celebration" on the invites. If you're concerned about a head count, you can put an RSVP on the invite,
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