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How to downsize?

idontworkinthisvanidontworkinthisvan member
Second Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We were originally supposed to get married April 2020 but had to postpone due to COVID. We are now scheduled for July of this summer. We are feeling good about it as everyone immediate in my family has been vaccinated already and FI’s immediate family will be eligible soon. Our major concern now is the guest count. We won’t know until closer to the wedding how many guests we will be allowed to have and therefore don’t know how to go about ordering invitations. Do we have to invite everyone originally invited? What if we can only have a limited number? Do we have to say anything to those who would no longer be invited due to gathering caps? How do we plan and follow etiquette in a situation that is somewhat out of our control?
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Re: How to downsize?

  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would order invitations for the "Without a question these people are absolutely going to be invited VIP's" with a couple copies for your album to keep and extra envelopes in case you mess up writing out names/addresses (it happens!)...  Yes, in the ideal world all of the original guests would be invited, the kicker is covid restrictions where you won't know until it's closer if you can have 25%, 50%, 75%, cap of 15 guests, cap of 25, cap of 50, etc. or if you'll be full capacity as many as you like, which SUCKS!  After that initial group of invites, I'd probably say to choose something as a secondary invite that you can print on a short turn-around if you're allowed to have more guests in attendance to the number you need such as Shutterfly, Walgreen's, OfficeMax, Staples, etc. or a DIY Print kit from JoAnn's or Michael's...

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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You also have to look at how your first plan were handled. Were they officially canceled to be determined later or were they postponed with the rescheduled date given to the original guest list? If canceled, you are fine not inviting the entire original guest list. If they were postponed, you need to contact everyone originally invited telling them that plans have changed and that the wedding isn't taking place as originally planned. Then you invite the smaller guest list. This just happened to us for a wedding we were invited to but became uninvited due to number limitations.
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  • idontworkinthisvanidontworkinthisvan member
    Second Anniversary First Comment
    So we originally postponed to August 2020 but when we quickly realized that was also not going to happen we emailed everyone basically saying that August was not happening and we would be in touch in the future when we could firm up plans. I'm fine to contact guests and let them know but at what point do I do this as we are not sure when we will know for sure the limitations?

    We never sent out a second round of STD's because we were just so unsure if it would be possible. Our venue has told us as of now we can do 50% capacity which is about 2/3 of our original guest count. We also would assume that we'd have many of those who originally RSVP'd no longer attending because of the any risk. I would also hate to B list but is it appropriate since this is not the normal circumstances? 
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Since you told your guest list that you would be in touch about future plans, you should let them know that the wedding has been canceled as originally planned due to Covid restrictions. After that, you need to decide on a new guest list based on whatever restrictions the venue has in place. At that point, send out your new invitations/STDs (it is getting too late for STDs since invites go out 8 weeks prior to the wedding). B listing is inappropriate especially if travel and hotel arrangements are needed (they were for the wedding we were uninvited to- so that wasn't an option for the bride and groom either). With more places opening up and vaccines getting distributed more broadly, you may make it to your entire guest list by the middle to the end of May when invitations would be mailed. Remember - STDs aren't required. They are a relatively new thing. Just make sure your VIPs know the date and location. 
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