DIY Wedding Forum

Looking for Some Help with Throwing an Affordable Wedding Ceremony

warren604warren604 member
5 Love Its First Comment
edited April 2021 in DIY Wedding Forum
Hi everyone,

I asked a question a few months ago about having an affordable courthouse wedding. My wife and I were in a bit of a hurry, as we are moving out of the country in a few months for a job opportunity, so we had to get married fairly quickly to ensure that our paperwork could be submitted. While we were not unhappy with our ceremony, my wife has expressed that she would like to hold another ceremony that would be a little more intimate, and a bit more inclusive for family and friends. I can understand her concern, as it wasn't the most ideal setting in the world to be married at the front door of the courthouse. 

Now the good news is that we already have all of the legal paperwork and official ceremony taken care of, so we aren't concerned about having to pay for licenses, officiants, etc. The bad news is that we really don't know where to go from here. We have both agreed that we would like to keep our celebration simple and affordable, but we have slight different visions for what we should have, and how much it should cost. To be specific, my wife has been looking into wedding services that will provide pretty much everything that we will need. For around $4,500 we would receive an officiant (which we don't technically need), some catering, cake, decorations, photography, and a venue for about 15 to 20 people. She also expressed interest in looking into a wedding planner that might be able to help us make these plans. On the other hand, I am more interested in the DIY approach. For less money, I feel like we would be secure to find a decent venue, pick out someone who could officiate the ceremony (even if they are not necessarily ordained), and a photographer with a little left over for basic catering and cake. The value in my head is somewhere between $1,000 and $2,000, which I understand may not be completely realistic. One of the venues that I've looked at charges around $150 for four hours, so I'm basing my estimate around having a more affordable venue. As for a reception, we're really not interested in having one. We might go out to dinner with family our friends, but we don't need a complete catering service. Either route we choose to proceed, there will be SOME basic catering, but nothing that will involve a full "sit down" meal. at our venue Additionally, a wedding dress won't factor in, as my wife's best friend is planning to make her one. 

To make a long story short, I would really love to hear your input! Please let me know if you think that we are being realistic. I plan to take advantage of the budget calculator on this website to simply this process. 

Re: Looking for Some Help with Throwing an Affordable Wedding Ceremony

  • warren604 said:
    Hi everyone,

    I asked a question a few months ago about having an affordable courthouse wedding. My wife and I were in a bit of a hurry, as we are moving out of the country in a few months for a job opportunity, so we had to get married fairly quickly to ensure that our paperwork could be submitted. While we were not unhappy with our ceremony, my wife has expressed that she would like to hold another ceremony that would be a little more intimate, and a bit more inclusive for family and friends. I can understand her concern, as it wasn't the most ideal setting in the world to be married at the front door of the courthouse. 

    Now the good news is that we already have all of the legal paperwork and official ceremony taken care of, so we aren't concerned about having to pay for licenses, officiants, etc. The bad news is that we really don't know where to go from here. We have both agreed that we would like to keep our celebration simple and affordable, but we have slight different visions for what we should have, and how much it should cost. To be specific, my wife has been looking into wedding services that will provide pretty much everything that we will need. For around $4,500 we would receive an officiant (which we don't technically need), some catering, cake, decorations, photography, and a venue for about 15 to 20 people. She also expressed interest in looking into a wedding planner that might be able to help us make these plans. On the other hand, I am more interested in the DIY approach. For less money, I feel like we would be secure to find a decent venue, pick out someone who could officiate the ceremony (even if they are not necessarily ordained), and a photographer with a little left over for basic catering and cake. The value in my head is somewhere between $1,000 and $2,000, which I understand may not be completely realistic. One of the venues that I've looked at charges around $150 for four hours, so I'm basing my estimate around having a more affordable venue. As for a reception, we're really not interested in having one. We might go out to dinner with family our friends, but we don't need a complete catering service. Either route we choose to proceed, there will be SOME basic catering, but nothing that will involve a full "sit down" meal. at our venue Additionally, a wedding dress won't factor in, as my wife's best friend is planning to make her one. 

    To make a long story short, I would really love to hear your input! Please let me know if you think that we are being realistic. I plan to take advantage of the budget calculator on this website to simply this process. 
    I think, $4500 also includes the 'convenience fee' of doing all the leg work and taking a lot off your wife's plate, planning wise. 

    Are you planning on doing this vow renewal in your new country or back home?

    I think a good compromise would be to give yourself a maximum budget of $4500 and plan everything yourself, using what you would get from the All Inclusive company as a bar for your wife's expectations. You get to do all the DIY you want, she gets someone to plan it all for her. As long as you are maintaining the quality standards that the company provides, she shouldn't be disappointed.
  • Thank you for taking the time to respond! I agree, I think there might be a convenience fee built into that $4,500 package. Any event we have will be held back in the United States, so we're only dealing with US dollars here (and no destination fees for any guests). I should have also mentioned that the $4,500 package only serves 15 guests. We would like to keep things small, but 15 might be a little bit limiting. If we do it ourselves we won't have to be locked into any certain guest count. The maximum number of people we would invite would be around 25, so I don't think the values change too drastically I've attempted to calculate everything out, and here is what I have arrived at:

    Venue: Large enough to fit everyone we would want to invite, but also not over the top = $400 maximum 

    Officiant: Does not need to be particular, as there is no paperwork to file. I'm factoring in $300 (I know the usual cost starts around $500, I'm making the assumption that a more affordable option may be available in a situation like this). 

    Cake: I'm not entirely sure what wedding cakes sell for on the market, but I would imagine that it would be around $300

    Photographer: I read online that a photographer could run anywhere from $1,000 to $10,000. I'll stick with $1,000 on this one. 

    Limited catering: We really don't need too much, other than a few refreshments for everyone, but I'll factor in $500 just to be safe. 

    With all of this added up, my calculation takes me to $2,500. I'm probably being a bit unrealistic with some of these values, but anywhere from $2,000 to $3,000 seems to be in the wheelhouse. Even this was a little more than I anticipated spending, but it's significantly better than $4,500. 
  • warren604 said:
    Thank you for taking the time to respond! I agree, I think there might be a convenience fee built into that $4,500 package. Any event we have will be held back in the United States, so we're only dealing with US dollars here (and no destination fees for any guests). I should have also mentioned that the $4,500 package only serves 15 guests. We would like to keep things small, but 15 might be a little bit limiting. If we do it ourselves we won't have to be locked into any certain guest count. The maximum number of people we would invite would be around 25, so I don't think the values change too drastically I've attempted to calculate everything out, and here is what I have arrived at:

    Venue: Large enough to fit everyone we would want to invite, but also not over the top = $400 maximum 

    Officiant: Does not need to be particular, as there is no paperwork to file. I'm factoring in $300 (I know the usual cost starts around $500, I'm making the assumption that a more affordable option may be available in a situation like this). 

    Cake: I'm not entirely sure what wedding cakes sell for on the market, but I would imagine that it would be around $300

    Photographer: I read online that a photographer could run anywhere from $1,000 to $10,000. I'll stick with $1,000 on this one. 

    Limited catering: We really don't need too much, other than a few refreshments for everyone, but I'll factor in $500 just to be safe. 

    With all of this added up, my calculation takes me to $2,500. I'm probably being a bit unrealistic with some of these values, but anywhere from $2,000 to $3,000 seems to be in the wheelhouse. Even this was a little more than I anticipated spending, but it's significantly better than $4,500. 
    That's great that you have done some research. A lot of these are going to be dependent of your area as it can vary greatly across the country. I think if your fiance agrees, you should just go ahead and plan the thing. Get her approval before signing any contracts of course and remember, she is compromising but letting you plan this so you really need to uphold your end of the bargain by making it <at least> as beautiful, special, and easy on her as the other company provides. You said in your first post that you have different ideas on what this vow renewal will look like and that she was thinking of hiring a wedding planner, you are essentially becoming her wedding planner. That's awesome that you are willing to do it but don't make her disappointed in this vow renewal too just because you want to save some coin. 
  • missJeanLouise said:
    warren604 said:
    Thank you for taking the time to respond! I agree, I think there might be a convenience fee built into that $4,500 package. Any event we have will be held back in the United States, so we're only dealing with US dollars here (and no destination fees for any guests). I should have also mentioned that the $4,500 package only serves 15 guests. We would like to keep things small, but 15 might be a little bit limiting. If we do it ourselves we won't have to be locked into any certain guest count. The maximum number of people we would invite would be around 25, so I don't think the values change too drastically I've attempted to calculate everything out, and here is what I have arrived at:

    Venue: Large enough to fit everyone we would want to invite, but also not over the top = $400 maximum 

    Officiant: Does not need to be particular, as there is no paperwork to file. I'm factoring in $300 (I know the usual cost starts around $500, I'm making the assumption that a more affordable option may be available in a situation like this). 

    Cake: I'm not entirely sure what wedding cakes sell for on the market, but I would imagine that it would be around $300

    Photographer: I read online that a photographer could run anywhere from $1,000 to $10,000. I'll stick with $1,000 on this one. 

    Limited catering: We really don't need too much, other than a few refreshments for everyone, but I'll factor in $500 just to be safe. 

    With all of this added up, my calculation takes me to $2,500. I'm probably being a bit unrealistic with some of these values, but anywhere from $2,000 to $3,000 seems to be in the wheelhouse. Even this was a little more than I anticipated spending, but it's significantly better than $4,500. 
    That's great that you have done some research. A lot of these are going to be dependent of your area as it can vary greatly across the country. I think if your fiance agrees, you should just go ahead and plan the thing. Get her approval before signing any contracts of course and remember, she is compromising but letting you plan this so you really need to uphold your end of the bargain by making it <at least> as beautiful, special, and easy on her as the other company provides. You said in your first post that you have different ideas on what this vow renewal will look like and that she was thinking of hiring a wedding planner, you are essentially becoming her wedding planner. That's awesome that you are willing to do it but don't make her disappointed in this vow renewal too just because you want to save some coin. 
    I agree that this is highly dependent on where you are located. Photography isn't dependent on the number of guests you have but rather for how long you have the photographer. So $1000 would be the minimum for your area. Is photography something that isn't all that important to you and your wife? I'd make sure of that before going with the minimum. For $500 catering for 25 people you are talking $20/person. That is including beverages. Are you planning on having alcohol. If so that probably isn't realistic. If you are just talking cake and punch/tea/coffee/water you are probably fine.
  • $4500 seems like a lot to me for a vow renewal with only 15-20 guests, but I guess I'm in a mid COL area. I suppose that would make sense in a more expensive city. I agree with PP that there's some "convenience" built into that. Not a convenience charge per se, but more that each element is more expensive than what it would be to do ala carte. Sort of like how when you order instacart the milk is 25c more than if you bought it in the store.

    I would start with looking for spaces. There are plenty of parks, museums, and even restaurants that have event spaces that would easily fit 20. Check into rental fees for those spaces, and make sure they come with chairs and tables. After a venue, food is going to be the next largest expense. Even if you don't want a formal sit down dinner, you have to feed guests appropriate for the time of day. Photography is going to be the next big piece of your budget. From there, the little things add up, but you'll have a pretty good idea of what you'd spend to put it together yourself.

    For the ceremony itself, you really don't have any expenses except maybe flowers. There's no need to hire a professional officiant. Rather, it would be really touching to ask a friend or family member to officiate your renewal. 
  • warren604warren604 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited April 2021
    Thank you so much for the replies! There is some really helpful information here. My wife was really excited about the $4,500 offer, because it would be a lot easier than doing all of this by ourselves. With that being said, I think I am hung up on the 15 guest limit (I checked, 15 is the hard limit). For $4,500, I would really like to have the option to have a few more people in attendance, or at least have some say in the matter. I'm a little new to this forum, so perhaps there is a tab on TheKnot that has links to local companies in my area that might provide similar services? I'll have to look around a little more. I really agree with MyNameIsNot about the officiant. I'm not opposed to having a professional come in with one of these packages, but there just isn't any point in paying twice for paperwork that we've already done. I much prefer the idea of having someone close to us perform the renewal and make it special. 
  • warren604 said:
    Thank you so much for the replies! There is some really helpful information here. My wife was really excited about the $4,500 offer, because it would be a lot easier than doing all of this by ourselves. With that being said, I think I am hung up on the 15 guest limit (I checked, 15 is the hard limit). For $4,500, I would really like to have the option to have a few more people in attendance, or at least have some say in the matter. I'm a little new to this forum, so perhaps there is a tab on TheKnot that has links to local companies in my area that might provide similar services? I'll have to look around a little more. I really agree with MyNameIsNot about the officiant. I'm not opposed to having a professional come in with one of these packages, but there just isn't any point in paying twice for paperwork that we've already done. I much prefer the idea of having someone close to us perform the renewal and make it special. 
    There absolutely is a tab but I am not sure where it is after they redid the site. Weddingwire has good vendor reviews too. The Knot's budget form was super helpful when planning my wedding several years ago. 
    Essentially, you are planning a 4,500$ party with some wedding aspects through in but I 100% understand your wife's preference of having someone else plan it. Weddings (and large events) are a lot of work.
  • Thank you so much for the reply! I haven't had time to look into the resources on TheKnot quite yet, but I know that those links will be extremely helpful going forward. I was probably trying to be a little too cheap, as $4,000 sounds like a fair compromise for what we're looking for. With some of the DIY planning, it could be quite a bit more affordable than the service. Planning something like this could be a little more trouble than it's worth, but I don't think it would be the end of the world for a smaller wedding. We're not planning on a crazy amount of frills of festivities. 
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