Wedding Etiquette Forum

Asking family friend to use there newest investment property as a wedding venue

kstrongkstrong Alabama member
edited April 12 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Okay, so I am a little torn about how to ask a family friend about using their newest investment property as my wedding venue. The property has a HUGE family significance to my family. However, I don't want to overstep or make anyone feel uncomfortable by me asking the question. I am willing to pay whatever price and do whatever is needed to be able to use the property. I have dreamed about it for years. The mansion fits my entire look of what I am going for. I have made myself okay with whatever the outcome is. I just can't help myself but ask the question. This isn't the house they live in, which is the only reason why I feel somewhat comfortable asking the question. But how does one go about even asking something like this? 

Thank yall for whatever help yall can give me!

Re: Asking family friend to use there newest investment property as a wedding venue

  • kstrong said:
    Okay, so I am a little torn about how to ask a family friend about using their newest investment property as my wedding venue. The property has a HUGE family significance to my family. However, I don't want to overstep or make anyone feel uncomfortable by me asking the question. I am willing to pay whatever price and do whatever is needed to be able to use the property. I have dreamed about it for years. The mansion fits my entire look of what I am going for. I have made myself okay with whatever the outcome is. I just can't help myself but ask the question. This isn't the house they live in, which is the only reason why I feel somewhat comfortable asking the question. But how does one go about even asking something like this? 

    Thank yall for whatever help yall can give me!
    I guess it depends on what the property is? Is it a rental house, or event space? If it’s a commercial business & events are something they’d typically do then I think it’s fine to ask. Maybe say “I’m really interested in using the White House for our wedding. If you’re open to discussing how that might be possible please let me know”. Then leave it at that. 

    If it’s a place someone/ people live that’s a lot tricker because of leases and rights to access parts of the property. So my answer would depend on if there were people living there, or not. 

    I think it doesn’t hurt to ask but if they balk or say no then respect that and let it be. 
    short+sassyei34
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can ask, but they may refuse or agree only under strict conditions. You'll need to accept it and have a backup plan if they don't give you the answer you are hoping for.
    short+sassy
  • I don't think it hurts to ask, especially since you aren't expecting them to let you use it for free.  I wouldn't talk about the huge family significance or that you have dreamt about using that venue for years.  Those are pretty heavily loaded, guilt-inducing words.

    But you could say something similar, just toned down.  Like, "I've always thought the house and grounds at XYZ is such a beautiful location.  Would you consider renting it to me for my wedding?"  Assuming they say "yes" or even "maybe", request a meeting to discuss price and details.  Including that you can provide event insurance, if needed.

    While I don't know their motivations in owning this property, usually the point of an investment property is to make money.  So, I don't think it's a crazy thing to at least ask.

    If there are tenants living there, that would be another ball of wax because the tenants would need to agree to it also and be paid handsomely to leave their home and secure their belongings for a day/weekend.  But that's not an impossibility either.  People are willing to do all kinds of things for the right price.
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    charlotte989875
  • A lot depends on why they purchased the investment property.  There's no harm in asking and being up front about fronting such costs that'll likely need to come OOP (hiring in a professional rental company and the like as well as being responsible if the caterer makes a mess in the kitchen to clean it to proper specifications, and potentially a cleaner to come in before the event as well.  AND, adhering to timelines because there can be things like community/HOA rules regarding the property (parking for guests, etc.)...  
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