Dear Prudence,
I have a friend, “Julie,” who got out of a violently abusive relationship with “Mike” over two years ago. She moved out, sought therapy through a sexual assault resource agency, and (aside from a few blips) hasn’t been in contact with him since. Recently he texted her to inform her his grandmother died, as Julie was in occasional touch with her. She mentioned this to me, and said she had no interest in rekindling anything with him.
Last week I was in town (about a 30-minute drive from where I live) when Julie texted to ask if I wanted her to pick something up from the store for me, since she was already there. I texted back to say I was close by and could meet her there and drove over without waiting for a reply. I saw her car in the parking lot and went in to meet her, when I saw her holding hands with Mike. I felt like I’d had the wind knocked out of me. They didn’t see me, and I left.
Later Julie responded to say she had just seen my text and that she’d had a phone call, which was why she hadn’t responded right away. I texted back to say, “Oh, I assumed it was because you were with Mike.” I haven’t heard from her since. Was I wrong to go into the store? And as her friend, can I say I have no interest in hearing about any rekindled relationship with this man? I don’t want to go through the roller coaster with her again. Does that make me a bad friend?
—Not Ready for Round Two