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na

chloeweckchloeweck member
edited May 2021 in Wedding Woes
Na
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Re: na

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No you don't get a year to have everything be about you two - you get a day. Don't say anything or you will cause hard feelings and family discord.
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    No, you shouldn't say anything to his brother. You do t get a whole year to be the center of attention, that's silly. What would happen if someone got a promotion, graduated, pregnant, moved? Would you be upset with them for taking the attention off you? Plus, you might have one or two family members who are genuinely interested and want to her about your wedding planning but by large, most people do not care about your wedding as much as you do, and they don't want to spend the summer talking about it with you. That's why these forums exist, so you can talk endlessly about weddings to people who enjoy talking about weddings.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes, this is bad. You can't say or do anything; the brother is free to get engaged and married whenever he wants. 

    Now would be a good time to do some self reflection to try to figure out why you feel this way. Why do you want to be the center of attention so badly for so long? Are you sure you want to get married for the right reasons and not just for attention? Why are you so threatened by someone else's happiness? Are you harboring some feelings of competition with this other couple? 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'll echo everyone else.  There is NOTHING for you to do here.  As long as the proposal doesn't occur at your wedding or maybe a pre-wedding event you need to let it go.  

    The concept that you want others to put their love on hold or other events on hold for you is selfish at best and delusional at worst.  Love isn't a competition and marrying someone you love is the reward.  
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mrsconn23 said:
    You get one day.  Not a whole year.  Also, no one will care more about your wedding than you and your FI.  Please don't say anything to them and be happy when they announce their engagement, whenever that happens.  Their engagement will not overshadow your wedding day. 
    I want to echo this. I mean maybe your parents/in laws may be just as excited... but honestly none of my siblings or friends wanted to hear every single detail of my planning. It’s excitement for you and your FI

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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    I’ll just add people can be excited for you AND your FBIL & their partner. Excitement isn’t zero sum- people being excited for them doesn’t mean they’re not also still just as excited for you. 
    Good point!   I have to say this to my kids.  The love and excitement isn't measured like sugar. 
    Excitement isn't pie...there's more than enough for everyone.  Also, I find it multiplies, not divides. 

    ANDPLUSALSO, I got engaged *right* after my sister got married (like less than 2 months).  I feel like my planning process and family excitement over me getting married stopped people from asking sis when the babies were coming.  MrsConn was getting married and sis was Matron of Honor, no time for baby talk.  So there's that too, maybe.  
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Dang, it's been a MINUTE since we had a DD!!

    WHEN YOU DIRTY DELETE INSTEAD OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROBLEMATIC POST Makeamemeorg When You Dirty Delete Instead of Taking Responsibility for Your Dirty Meme on MEME
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    VarunaTT said:
    Dang, it's been a MINUTE since we had a DD!!

    WHEN YOU DIRTY DELETE INSTEAD OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROBLEMATIC POST Makeamemeorg When You Dirty Delete Instead of Taking Responsibility for Your Dirty Meme on MEME
    Maybe with something like this if the overwhelming answer is "This is not going to go well," then the OP realized this is only going to make life with the future ILs worse. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    VarunaTT said:
    Dang, it's been a MINUTE since we had a DD!!

    WHEN YOU DIRTY DELETE INSTEAD OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PROBLEMATIC POST Makeamemeorg When You Dirty Delete Instead of Taking Responsibility for Your Dirty Meme on MEME
    Maybe with something like this if the overwhelming answer is "This is not going to go well," then the OP realized this is only going to make life with the future ILs worse. 
    Let's hope, but we also read Prudie, so... 

    Yeah I Mean Well See GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I honestly don’t understand this. FSIL got engaged 1-2 months after us. We’ve been together 2 years longer than FSIL and her (now) FI. I did not care in the slightest. I was thrilled for them. 


    image
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    I’ll just add people can be excited for you AND your FBIL & their partner. Excitement isn’t zero sum- people being excited for them doesn’t mean they’re not also still just as excited for you. 
    Good point!   I have to say this to my kids.  The love and excitement isn't measured like sugar. 
    Excitement isn't pie...there's more than enough for everyone.  Also, I find it multiplies, not divides. 

    ANDPLUSALSO, I got engaged *right* after my sister got married (like less than 2 months).  I feel like my planning process and family excitement over me getting married stopped people from asking sis when the babies were coming.  MrsConn was getting married and sis was Matron of Honor, no time for baby talk.  So there's that too, maybe.  
    My SIL got engaged less than a month after my wedding.  The only thought I had was that maybe they were waiting until after my wedding and I didn't find that necessary - I wouldn't have had an issue with it.  As long as he didn't propose at my wedding or wedding events, go nuts!

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