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Words. Use them.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

A couple we frequently dine out with always arrive very early for our dinner dates. When we arrive, they’ve already been seated, looking out at the best view, while we have a view of the wall every time. They’ve already ordered drinks and appetizers. Isn’t it good manners to wait and be seated together?

—Tired of Looking at the Wall

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Re: Words. Use them.

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    A couple we frequently dine out with always arrive very early for our dinner dates. When we arrive, they’ve already been seated, looking out at the best view, while we have a view of the wall every time. They’ve already ordered drinks and appetizers. Isn’t it good manners to wait and be seated together?

    —Tired of Looking at the Wall

    Well, you could start by getting there earlier. 

    But instead bring it up friendly.  "Oh what time did you guys get here?  We noticed that you already had your cocktails and hoped to get here when you did."  

    But also, if it feels like the arrival is a competition and you see these people enough to dine with them frequently, also joke about it. "Oh next time we're going to have to get here at 6 for our 7:00 reservation time so we can get the better seats!" 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think seating & drinks is fine, but weird. Ordering food without everyone? That feels rude to me. 

    Next time pick a restaurant that won’t seat you until your entire party is present. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Where are you eating that there are these great views to compete for? Most of the time you're either looking at a wall/window, or a bunch of other people eating. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Where are you eating that there are these great views to compete for? Most of the time you're either looking at a wall/window, or a bunch of other people eating. 
     I immediately thought of my own area and how there are tons of places with a view of the water.  If I constantly had the view of the parking lot it could get old. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    There seriously aren’t any tables at this restaurant with a parallel view so both parties can enjoy it? 


    image
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    levioosa said:
    There seriously aren’t any tables at this restaurant with a parallel view so both parties can enjoy it? 
    Well, if they're already seated there may be situations of how the tables are set. 

    I know one of my favorite places to eat outside has picnic tables set up and due to the yard, half the table will need to have their backs to the water.    

    But I do sort of like the concept of saying "Oh what about moving to THAT table where we could see the gardens, water, etc?!"  

    Still, there's something odd here that they eat out with these people often enough that they're dining companions but they aren't at the comfort level to figure out why they are doing this especially if it isn't "Hey we know you guys like nachos and margarita's so we had the drinks and apps on order to be ready when you walked in."   
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yeah, arrive 1/2 hour early than stated.
    and then they’ll catch on and arrive 1 hour early than agreed upon.
    And then ya’ll can arrive 1.5 hours early next time.  And so on.

    And then eventually your dinner plans become lunch plans. But it’s a great way to stick it to them. 

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  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wonder if any of these places require reservations? And who is getting them, and for what time?

    I'm just imagining the other couple is making the reservations early so they can be seated where they want, and shrugging to the waiter "IDK they're late" about the LW.
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