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How do I tell my dad I don't want him to walk me down the aisle?

knottie42e1cbd2ef975bb6knottie42e1cbd2ef975bb6 member
in Wedding 911
So I have never been super close to my dad. He's nowhere near a horrible father it's just he was never super close while I was growing up, he didn't seem to make a ton of effort. I even changed my last name to my mum's when I was 18 which I know did upset him. 
I always thought I'd walk down the aisle by myself. I know I could do both parents but I think that's just a bit too clunky and I kind of like the idea of walking into my future on my own two feet. We're going to have the parents walk down the aisle before the wedding party and be involved in other ways I.e bringing up the vows and signing the wedding certificate. 
I'm a chicken though and I don't know how to tell my dad I don't want him to walk me down the aisle. He has tried more to be in my life the last 3 years or so and we are a bit closer but it still doesn't change the first 20-25 years where we didn't have the best relationship.
I don't know what to do, please help! 
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Re: How do I tell my dad I don't want him to walk me down the aisle?

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Well you just need to have the conversation with him and do it sooner rather than later. This is especially true if he thinks he will be walking you down the aisle. You are an adult, and being adult means making adult decisions and owning them. You have every right to walk down the aisle by yourself. Explain to your dad you just want to walk down the aisle alone - this is more common than people think. Also explain how he will be participating in others ways with your mom. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2021
    When you tell him, don't bring your relationship with him into it. I also walked down the aisle by myself and explained to my dad that I didn't like the custom of "giving the bride away" (which was true) and wanted to do this on my own. I'd recommend you say something similar to your dad and, as @ILoveBeachMusic said, focus on how he will still be participating.

    Would you be okay with doing a father-daughter dance? I still had one with my dad, and I was thinking that might help keep peace with your father and alleviate any disappointment on his part. Just a thought. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I agree with the other PPs.  Don't make this about the relationship (or lack thereof) you've had with your father.  Make it about that you are excited to "walk to your future on your own two feet".

    Many brides have great relationships with their father, but still prefer to walk down the aisle themselves.  It's also not uncommon for a soon-to-be married couple to walk down the aisle, together.
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