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Wedding Woes

It's your H's business and employee, so he gets to decide.

Dear Prudence,

My husband owns a small business. A few months ago, he had an employee research and call to place a large order for some products for a project. The vendor sent a lovely gift to the business worth several hundred dollars. My husband feels that the employee should get the gift, since they made the call. I feel we should keep the gift, since we spent the money and paid the employee for doing their job. Now he’s making me feel guilt for being selfish. The gift is expensive enough that I can’t justify spending the money on it in my personal life. What should I do?

—Damned If I Do

Re: It's your H's business and employee, so he gets to decide.

  • LW, you are the asshole. 
    Why would they ever think they are entitled to this? It is just weird 
    I wonder if H has brought home vendor gifts before, but this one just that extra that LW thinks they deserve it? But seriously, IDK why this would even be an argument/conversation when LW seems to have nothing to do with the running of the business or being directly involved in managing any aspect of the employees. 
  • Anyone else dying to know what the gift is?
    Yes!  And I also think it is pertinent to the question.  If it is something that could be shared or used by the business for the benefit of all the employees, then that is the perfect answer.  

    Like an espresso machine.  Yeeaahhh!

    If it isn't something that can be shared, I don't think the H would be wrong to keep the gift because it was a "thank you" for the money that was spent on the order.  However, that decision is 100% the H's and he wants to let the employee keep it.  I even read the letter a second time.  It clearly says the business is "his" business.  Not "their" business.  So the LW needs to sit down, shut up, and stop interfering with their spouse's company decisions.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The entitlement of thinking that a gift sent to an employer at a business you don’t work at is somehow for you. 
  • LW needs to sit down and STFU. Even if the gift was a thank you for the money spent, not the act of placing the order, letting the employee keep it is the right thing to do.

    I worked for a small business 2-3 employees for years after college. The pay was low compared to larger firms and there were no benefits. Little perks and gifts were part of what kept us there. One vendor used to send really nice wine every Christmas. I miss free wine. 
  • How annoyed must LW's H be, if LW is so worked up about this that she had to write to Prudie to "settle" who is right?
  • LW, back off. It's your husband's business and his decision what to do with the gift (and yes I'd also love to know what it is). Stop being so entitled.
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  • Can you imagine if any of us worked for a place that we'd worked with a vendor on a large project, vendor sent us a thank-you gift, then the wife of our boss wanted to keep it for herself?!?!  Yep LW - YATAH... It's called employee appreciation and retention...
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