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Wedding Woes

My bro is putting his ho before us bros. Oh noes.

Dear Prudence,

As our male friend group has rounded 30, we’ve had the good fortune of none of the fellas dropping off, but a threat looms. Nick is marrying Mandy, and she wants nothing to do with us. She’s averse to group hangouts. She RSVP’d, then no-showed my wedding. The pandemic widened the gap; only about 30 percent of the group is invited to their wedding, and Nick is leaving out two guys for whom he was a groomsman. From what we can tell, the small wedding was her idea because she doesn’t have close friends of her own. Nick has rarely stood up for himself in relationships past, and when he finally does, it’s abrupt and leads to a breakup. We think this is headed that way, but no one’s brought it to his attention because he’s a grownup. Yet these wedding snubs feel like the end of the friendship. Do we say something? What do we say?

— Worried for Our Boy

Re: My bro is putting his ho before us bros. Oh noes.

  • Maybe you cope with the fact that you’re adults, life changes, and accept that Nick is fine with it? 
  • Yeah - this could just be the normal flow of how friendships go. 

    He's a grown up as are you.   The only thing that sticks out to me is the no showing to the wedding.  Did you call her and ask her if she was OK?  Is she painfully shy and introverted or is this underlying of some other issue? 
  • "a threat looms"

    oh brother
  • @mrsconn23, I gave a  "Love It" to your letter post.  But that's 100% for the great title!

    I'm especially insulted on Mandy's behalf for the line "From what we can tell, the small wedding was her idea because she doesn’t have close friends of her own."

    Let me guess, LW.  You're one of the guys not invited?  I wonder why (sarcasm).  

    Here's another thought.  Maybe they BOTH want a small, intimate wedding.  Especially when you consider we are in the middle of a pandemic.

    Plus how many people are in this group of friends?  30% are invited.  At least two are not.  So, right there, that's at least 6 people.  Plus their SOs.  So that makes a minimum of 12 people, just from this friend group.  That can be A LOT of people for a small wedding, because it isn't even counting both families and her friends.

    Grow up.  It's hard to believe you're around 30 because you sound like a clueless, immature teenager.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Sorry that Mandy doesn't think pounding beers, talking about sports, and fart jokes are funny, Kevin.  GTFO yourself and/or grow up.  

    Ugh. I understand yearning for things not to change and feeling nostalgic for the good times, but this LW is utterly ridiculous. 

    He's giving me Frank from "Old School" vibes.  LOL  


  • I will say that I've seen the other side of this with my brother and his friends. His friend Z married a woman that really doesn't care to ever hang out with anyone, ever. Many in the group (male and female) have tried to become friends with her and she just stonewalls. 

    Z and my brother are in a band together and have been for years. She's never once been to a show. She also didn't come to my brother's wedding. Another friend, J and his wife have tried many times to hang out with Z and his wife, and she always shuts it down. Any time Z shows up for a party, he chills for an hour or so, and then says he has to go. 

    But the "looming threat" made me LOL. This bro does seem dramatic. 
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2021
    I agree, @climbingsingle.  I've definitely seen a person get a partner that totally upends the group dynamic in a bad way. 

    But what can you do?  Whine to Prudie apparently.  LOL 
  • LW is going to lose his shit when the bros move on from getting married to having kids. 
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