Dear Prudence,
This is a really low-stakes question, but I’d love your input. I’m gay, and I have a well-meaning Christian co-worker. Every conversation I have with her somehow leads to her saying things like, “you know, the gays are all OK!” or she’d start talking about Neil Patrick Harris being really cool even though he’s gay and one time she gave me a “pretty gay lanyard,” which was rainbow-striped, back before COVID when we were still in the office. (I was like, “you mean it looks pretty gay?” and she was like, “No, I meant it was pretty because of the rainbow!”) She even introduced me to another friend of hers in another department by saying, “He’s gay too! I think you’ll be good friends!” Well, remote working has got me spoiled, and now that we’re finally going back to the office, I’m finding her cheery “love the sinner not the sin!” attitude to be grating. She doesn’t mean anything by it, I’m genuinely happy she’s trying for my sake, but last week she started asking me why Lil Nas X has to be so flamboyant when I’m not flamboyant at all, and it took all of my patience not to snap at her. How do I find my zen? Or alternatively, how do I delicately tell her I’m not her go-to gay ambassador, and she can just treat me like a normal co-worker?
— Gay and Tired