Dear Prudence,
When do I stop being indebted to a kind stranger that returned my pet?
We lost track of a (legal and well cared for) pet tortoise. We put missing posters everywhere and offered a reward. No one was more relieved than I when someone found him! This person turned down the reward but mentioned several times how attached her young child was to this tortoise and how she’d cried and didn’t want to give it back. Each time this was followed by a request for more evidence that I was in fact the rightful owner. I was concerned they were finding reasons not to return him
Ultimately, I offered to gift her child a habitat for a less needy variety of tortoise (although all need special care) if the parents were willing to take care of it properly. Mom was thrilled, and said she wanted to get one anyway. I followed through with this and our own pet was returned.
My problem is that this person is texting me daily asking advice on the pet and asking when her child can come meet my children and visit our pet tortoise. There is nothing wrong with the child, but she’s younger than mine and we are very busy people. I have a small social circle that I’m not looking to expand, being a mother of five. I also am not comfortable giving constant advice about how they should care for their own pet. It’s crossed into a gray area that has me asking “When will it end and how do I end it?”
I feel rotten about it, but I’d be happy to get on with our lives and move forward. Should I have her and her daughter over once or is there an okay way for me to get out of that?
— Grateful Introvert