content warning: bigotry and abuse talked aboutEnglish isn't my 1st language so please bare with me
So I am unsure if this is the correct board but as the title implys I've been trying to propose to my zucchini (queer platonic partner) for about 10 months now, but I am paralyzed everytime I try to due to the fact that I know my father will have a fit if it's anything but a strictly cishet catholic affair. My zucchini and I are as a couple a trans man and a high femme nonbinary person, both of us are Norse pagan, just as some perspective.
So my plan is to not invite my father as he very purposefully outs us in public, dead names me, misgenders both of us every chance he gets, As well as having been physically abusive to the point of breaking several of my bones when I was younger. (He won't go to therapy because it will "make him gay"). Like I am terrified to tell him he's not invited, especially since his side of the family is really important to me and support the authentic me, and I'm afraid they wouldn't come if I didn't invite him (they probably more than likely would but anxiety is a horrid thing). And my zucchini really supports my not wanting him in my life, And know that it's going to be important to both of us to be able to be authentic on the big day.
So I need advice, how do I tell my zucchini that I want him in my life forever without worrying about the fact that my dad is awful.
Tl;Dr
My dad is a piece of shit who I know won't be invited to the wedding. How do I propose to my zucchini (queer platonic partner) without the very idea of my father ruining it for me. And causing me to freeze.