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Groomsmen drop out and can't make it to the wedding?!

Re: Groomsmen drop out and can't make it to the wedding?!

  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Chances are financial was "the buffering excuse" and not "the reason" if you offered to pay their way and they still declined. Ultimately that's on them, and best to just drop it FWIW..  

    Also - DO NOT cut your BM down to have even sides, that's rude to your BM and a potential friendship ending move!  He'll be surrounded by the people in his life who care most about him and would go to bat for him, that's more important than who cancelled out.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly I think you’re being ridiculous. You can’t force people to travel internationally. You realize we’re still in a pandemic, right? 

    And why would you kick out bridesmaids? What even? What do they have to do with any of this? 
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  • knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360fknottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f member
    First Comment
    I admit even to suggest cutting my bridal party down was and is a huge mistake. That was more of an emotional move on my part and me thinking more of my fiancé and not wanting to rub it in his face in anyway if that makes sense that I have a full party and he doesn't. TBH he wouldn't have suggested this route either.

    I wasn't forcing anyone? No I wasn't thinking of the pandemic as the said reason was due to financial reasons. I was more trying to offer a solution to what the given reason was and doing what I could to make this happen for my fiancé. But also if it was a buffer then now we know. 

    He's so happy my bridesmaids are doing what they can for me and making the smallest effort to even get on the same flight and stay at the same hotel with us. I just wanted him to have the same experience, even if it was just an illusion. 
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  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    When you plan a destination wedding, especially to an international destination, you're going to have to expect people to drop out. That's just the way these things go, even without a pandemic.
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  • knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360fknottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f member
    First Comment
    Thank you for the sound advice - really appreciate it!
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  • knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360fknottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f member
    First Comment
    Honestly I think you’re ridiculous for assuming its a fake ceremony.  :* 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f said:
    Honestly I think you’re ridiculous for assuming its a fake ceremony.  :* 
    Oh so you're arriving in Mexico before your civil ceremony to get blood tests? Sure. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f said:

    I am purely venting here but if you have feedback or advice please do not hold back.

    We are having a destination wedding in PVR 6 mos away. We gave our wedding party all the information more than a year in advance notice of cost and stay before any guests. Very recently we found out 2 of the groomsmen (1; a friend/former colleague and 1; the brother AND BEST MAN) cannot make it due to financial reasons. I know this really hurts my fiancé since he brought up the difference in efforts between my bridesmaids and his groomsmen. And now this brings his groomsmen down to 4. So I secretly reached out to his friend and brother and offered to pay for flight and stay. They both declined which I knew would be a long shot but still I was hoping they would think of my fiancé and his feelings.

    I'm so disappointed and have half a mind to just let go 2 of my bridesmaids. The thing about my fiancé choosing 6 men was a big deal for him as he doesn't have many close friends he would say that goes to bat for him so he really doesn't have alternatives - so asking the original 6 and them accepting initially was such a big deal for him. 




    You’re being ridiculous. And I would hope that you don’t view financially strapping yourself beyond your means as a true indicator of friendship. It’s not. 


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  • knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360fknottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f member
    First Comment
    edited August 2021
    Cool. I don't. 

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    knottiea4ae9dfa36ce360f said:
    Cool. I don't. 

    Except you're having a meltdown over the fact that two of your H's groomsmen have said they can't come for financial reasons, essentially saying they don't a shit about your FI. And you're having such a hard time with this, that you're wanting to kick your own bridal party members out for no reason. Get a grip. 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No point deleting OP, you've already been quoted.  Definitely don't kick anyone out of your party.  Sides don't have to be even.  Friendships are more important than sides being even.
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