Wedding Woes

Get the vaccine and leave. Now. Yesterday.

Dear Prudence,

My husband (M, 49) is vehemently against me (F, 38) getting the COVID vaccine. He believes all the conspiracies—that if the vaccine doesn’t kill me right away, then I will die in the next two years along with everyone else who’s been vaccinated. He also believes that the vaccinated are “shedding” something dangerous from their bodies that can infect people around them. We have four young children (ages 4-to-8), and he believes that I would be a danger to them if I got vaccinated. The only reason I haven’t done so already is because I can’t stand the thought of him telling our children that I will die soon or that they are in danger from just being near me. He’s told me that he “doesn’t know what he’ll do” if I get vaccinated and has refused to elaborate. I’m a stay-at-home mom with no income of my own and no other family. I just don’t see leaving him as an option. What do you do when getting the shot means your children will be told to prepare for your death?

— Protecting My Kids

Re: Get the vaccine and leave. Now. Yesterday.

  • What is he going to do when it’s approved for kids, not let them get it either? Protect yourself by getting the vaccine but first by getting a lawyer. 
    This.  


  • Get the vaccine and do not tell him. Then make plans to exit your marriage. 
    I’m thinking he’s so controlling he would know if she left to get it without telling him. 
  • Get the vaccine and do not tell him. Then make plans to exit your marriage. 
    I’m thinking he’s so controlling he would know if she left to get it without telling him. 
    The only way  I'm assuming she could hide it is if she had a scheduled physical and her doc is now offering it.

    I had to go to a clinic to get it where it was administered to state residents en masse.  DH wouldn't have bought that I'm taking 2 hours to go to the grocery store only to come home empty handed. 
  • I'd never heard of shedding until recently, when someone from HS (I'm not FB friends with her but she posted a comment on a mutual friend's page and then I did a deep dive) and was saying how vaccinated people are shedding it into the water supply and making everyone sick. Apparently drinking something called Kangan water (maybe have spelled that wrong) is the cure to everything and keeping everyone well
  • Oh here I could get it at CVS or the grocery store now. 
  • kvruns said:
    I'd never heard of shedding until recently, when someone from HS (I'm not FB friends with her but she posted a comment on a mutual friend's page and then I did a deep dive) and was saying how vaccinated people are shedding it into the water supply and making everyone sick. Apparently drinking something called Kangan water (maybe have spelled that wrong) is the cure to everything and keeping everyone well
    Oh the companies who manufacture betadine had to come out and say that people need to stop ingesting it because it's not a cure or preventative for COVID.  

    What BOTTLES my mind is that people swear COVID doesn't exist or isn't that bad and then seek out 'alternative' cures/prevention for it.  I just can't. 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    kvruns said:
    I'd never heard of shedding until recently, when someone from HS (I'm not FB friends with her but she posted a comment on a mutual friend's page and then I did a deep dive) and was saying how vaccinated people are shedding it into the water supply and making everyone sick. Apparently drinking something called Kangan water (maybe have spelled that wrong) is the cure to everything and keeping everyone well
    Oh the companies who manufacture betadine had to come out and say that people need to stop ingesting it because it's not a cure or preventative for COVID.  

    What BOTTLES my mind is that people swear COVID doesn't exist or isn't that bad and then seek out 'alternative' cures/prevention for it.  I just can't. 
    I heard a 16 yo saying "Covid ain't real," and my biggest hope is that he was joking. 
  • Also to add, the other part about hiding that she got the vaccine is that for many (myself included) the 2nd shot hit me fairly hard.  If she's under the weather and the H is suspicious that can put her in a vulnerable state.  To add to the issue is if she does get vaccinated where does she put her card?   I'm assuming they aren't living in NYC where proof is needed just to get into places.  


  • Mom in my June 2018 group is in the same position of her spouse anti-vax. He's become such a conspiracy theorist.
    She's health care.

    They're getting divorced.
  • Leave as soon as you can you poor LW.  I take back some of my STBXH is annoying me today.
  • LW - go get the J&J and move on with life...  It's your decision to get or not get, couples are allowed different opinions from each other, this isn't a hill to die on nor really worthy of ending a marriage over if the rest of the topics are in reasonable agreement.  "I was at the store today picking up band-aids, they were offering the J&J, I got it while I had the chance... DONE!" If he doesn't want to get it, that's his choice as well to be respected, it doesn't mean not getting it if you want it because he isn't...  
  • kvruns said:
    I'd never heard of shedding until recently, when someone from HS (I'm not FB friends with her but she posted a comment on a mutual friend's page and then I did a deep dive) and was saying how vaccinated people are shedding it into the water supply and making everyone sick. Apparently drinking something called Kangan water (maybe have spelled that wrong) is the cure to everything and keeping everyone well

    Oh god, my ex husband was obsessed with this stupid Kagan water. I'm sure he's an anti-vaxxer by now.
  • Find a safe way to get the vaccine without him finding out. Then figure out a plan to leave him and take the kids with you. What you're facing here is both psychological abuse and a difference in values that I don't think you can (or should try to) overcome. 
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