Classic: Designate doggy utensils?

mrsconn23 · September 2021

What can I do to get my husband to stop using the family flatware on the dog’s food? Our dog eats food that has to be heated in the microwave and sometimes chopped up. I have begged my husband to use plastic utensils, but he still uses the same utensils with which our family eats. It makes me nauseous. The thought of using a knife that was used on dog food makes me want to throw up. For what it’s worth, commercials that show cat food being stirred and plopped also make me feel sick. I have always had what can be described as a weak stomach. I have talked to him about this repeatedly, but he is apparently ignoring this simple request. When asked about it, he says it’s no big deal and that the family silverware is more convenient. How can I get him to understand that he’s making me sick?

flantastic · September 2021

Have you told him it's making you sick?

I mean, have you actually gone so far as to say that?

If so, now say, "Here are the utensils we will use for the dog's food. I need you to respect this so that I can spend my evenings without nausea."

mrsconn23 · September 2021

I think this LW is being ridic, because dishwashers clean and sanitize shit. But if LW truly can't stomach this use of their every day utensils, then get some that are designated for the dog's food only.

OR why doesn't LW take over doing the dog's food preparation? Then they can use all the plasticware they want (which I think is a dumb solution, and getting getting dog specific utensils is the better option).

STARMOON44 · September 2021

I use the same spoons for my food and Cat’s food all the time! And then I wash them. LW should take on responsibility for this task.

charlotte989875 · September 2021

I’m thinking the dogs food also makes the LW sick that’s why the H is doing it? Tell him specifically how this makes you sick. Buy a second set of silverware and store it near the dog food. If he’s not willing to do that he’s ridiculous too.

banana468 · September 2021

How about this one:

"Dear Prudie, my wife and I live in a comfortable home with a dishwasher. When I opened the canned food for our animals I scoop it with a spoon and put it in the empty dishwasher which is run daily and sanitizes everything. She's told me that this is (in her words) "nauseating" and has begged me to use plastic utensils. Prudie, my opinion is that plastic and anything disposable should only be used when they are in a place that cannot possibly be cleaned and continuing to be single use items is what contributes to the ever changing climate crisis. (as an aside - we just lived through a few days without power thanks to hurricane Ida). How can I convince her that putting the utensil in the dishwasher and having it sanitized is fine and it's no more nauseating than not keeping a separate set of plates and utensils every time one of our kids (or we) fall ill with a transmissible virus?"

MissKittyDanger · September 2021

Does LW think these items are not getting washed?
We use the same certain forks, but they're still just forks.

ei34 · September 2021

Is...he then eating with the fork after serving the dog? LW sounds squeamish so I get her not being the one to prepare the dog food, but from an environmental perspective, I don't think that's an appropriate use of plastic utensils. I hate to seem insensitive, but if the utensils are being properly washed...get over it? I use knives and kitchen scissors to cut raw chicken which could get you more sick than dog food, and we've never had a contamination issue thanks to hot water and soap.

banana468 · September 2021

I also do not understand how this person owns animals and is so nauseated at the way their food is prepared. To your point also @ei34 has she not ever prepared meat ever? Knock on wood salmonella hasn't invaded our home because I know enough to ensure that the knives and kitchen shears get washed. The good knives never go in the dishwasher but it's amazing what soap and water do.

This sticks out to me as someone so annoying and sheltered the only thing that I think the H should do is say, "I'm not changing this because it's mind bogglingly stupid and if it bothers you this much then we won't have more pets."

Good luck when you have to feed a kid that's had the pukes.

MyNameIsNot · September 2021

If using a spoon that once touched dog food (not even the dog) is such an issue, what does LW think about using a spoon that was once used by a sick family member? Do they just refuse to use restaurant dishes and flatware? Because I can promise you that that restaurant fork has once touched something way grosser than a can of dog food.

flantastic · September 2021

It's definitely an irrational "thing" she has. But so does everyone. So does this come back to being a communication thing?

If the H thinks this is stupid and she needs to get over it, he needs to say that and why it's irrational. If you're not willing to tell your spouse their request is dumb, that's fine, pick your battles, but then don't just ignore it and keep doing the thing. That just comes across as "IDGAF what you want or need."

If the LW has this weird irrational thing, and can't move past it for whatever reason, she needs to say "Hey I'll work on this (therapy seems overkill but IDK maybe she needs it) but in the meantime humor me?"

Everyone is being passive and potentially passive-aggressive.

banana468 · September 2021

flantastic said:

It's definitely an irrational "thing" she has. But so does everyone. So does this come back to being a communication thing?

If the H thinks this is stupid and she needs to get over it, he needs to say that and why it's irrational. If you're not willing to tell your spouse their request is dumb, that's fine, pick your battles, but then don't just ignore it and keep doing the thing. That just comes across as "IDGAF what you want or need."

If the LW has this weird irrational thing, and can't move past it for whatever reason, she needs to say "Hey I'll work on this (therapy seems overkill but IDK maybe she needs it) but in the meantime humor me?"

Everyone is being passive and potentially passive-aggressive.

It's why I wonder if this is one of many things. It sounds like they HAVE had the dialogue and he's not indulging this idiotic request because it's wasteful and stupid. She said, "I have talked to him about this repeatedly, but he is apparently ignoring this simple request. When asked about it, he says it’s no big deal and that the family silverware is more convenient. "

The way it's worded tells me that she is thinking she can tell him what to do and the issue is that he's not obeying her.

I think the big issue here is that if her stomach is so weak she can't handle or understand the concept that utensils get cleaned and the dog food stops being there then what she needs is a quality behavioral therapist.

mrsconn23 · September 2021

Agreed @flantastic that the H is perhaps being a total douche. And yes, everyone has their things.

I think LW is irrational about this, but aversions to things are very common. However they're also not saying they've asked for alternatives beyond plasticware. IDK why they can't come to a compromise that H uses one or two items of flatware for the dog's food exclusively and it's washed separately OR that LW can't do it themselves and use the utensils they can tolerate to feed the dog.

Definitely a communication issue. It rises to the level of absurd when you write to Prudie about it. LOL

kerbohl · September 2021

I have doggie utensils - the dog got into the cutlery one day and chewed a big spoon to bits, and we snapped a wooden spoon and I was loathe to throw it out, so now technically that's what we use for the dog food. But .... we make our own dog food and it is very close to people food. I could legit eat it and not bat an eye - it's just rice, chicken, and veggies cookied in coconut oil that is frozen into pucks. If the dog food is making her gag, she can completely get rid of the dog food (if she does her research and makes sure that the alternative dog food is healthy for her dog).

Then again, the chicken I use is chicken hearts or chicken liver, and I'm sure some might find that repulsive. I love chicken hearts, but I haven't cooked some for myself in so long because I always leave it for the spoiled dog.

short+sassy · September 2021

I think both people are being a little ridiculous. It is silly that the LW is bothered by people utensils being used for pet food (assuming it is washed). However, it is also "fair enough" that many of us have little weird quirks that don't make logical sense, but are still something that bothers us.

As such, it is just as easy for the H to stop doing something that he knows bothers his SO. They should get the pets their own utensils and keep them in a special place in the drawer or a holder on the counter. They could even make it fun and get dog-themed spoons. That way, no one could mistake which spoon is for the dog's food.

Classic: Designate doggy utensils?

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